Holding Timebombs
by PoizenLovePuppet
Summary: SasoDei, narutoverse. During a mission, Deidara starts to get annoyed with the odd way people react to him and Sasori. But Sasori's increasingly strange and pushy behaviour only confuse Deidara more.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hiyaaa, so yeah, I'm transferring all my stories over here from my dA account (xSxDxObsessionx) and yeaaaah...**

**I'm doing some minor editing while I go along, sorting outy typos and words that I don't think fit, stuff like that... but it's all just surface stuff really. This was my first SasoDei story, and it also happens to be completed, allthough I won't have all of it up for a bit, but I will eventually move all the chapters over. I'm aware that it kind of sucks, but I'm too lazy to do anything more than surface edits right now so... =D **

**I'd be happy if you enjoyed it anyway  
**

**~D.  
**

Sasodei: 1

Sasodei: Eventual Yaoi

Deidara fiddled absentmindedly with the leaflets in the hotel reception. A voice drifted across the room to him and his ears twitched slightly as he picked up the individual syllables.

"I'm really very sorry sir, but you don't seem to have a reservation with us,"

More mumbled conversation. Deidara picked up a leaflet and scanned the back of it, still listening for the young womans' voice.

"... Busy time of year... Very sorry for the inconvenience..."

He sighed, stuffing the leaflet back into the rack, and then walking over to the counter to stand next to his partner.

"... I hope you and your companion find the right hotel," the receptionist was saying.

Deidaras' partner started to leave and reluctantly, Deidara followed.

His ears were picking up the sound of another woman entering, followed by suppressed giggles.

"... cute couple..." Deidaras' head flipped around, giving the receptionist, and the woman who had just joined her, an evil glare. Both women seemed to cower slightly under his gaze.

Deidara boiled. He felt like blowing the whole damn town up. Firstly because Leader-sama didn't seem to have reserved for them even the shabbiest of hotel rooms, and secondly because people here kept on saying things like _that_.

Deidara followed his partner, not paying any attention to where they where going, lagging slightly behind with his face distorted into a horrible grimace.

"Brat," Deidara snapped out of his trance, standing up straight as though to attention as his partner spoke.

"Give me the map,"

Deidara scowled as he extracted the requested map from one of various pockets conceiled on the inside of his long, wide black cape.

His partner viewed the map.

After a moment there was a low growl.

"No wonder,"

Deidara cocked his head to one side, his anger switching quickly for confusion.

"Sasori-danna, un?"

"You read the map the wrong way round, _brat_"

Ten minuets later Deidara made a correction on his earlier notes. Leader-sama had not failed to reserve them the shabbiest of room in possibly the shabbiest hotel; he had done exactly that.

The receptionist at this particular hotel seemed to have no interest in either Deidara or Sasori, but seemed rather more keen to get back to reception so that he could finish his nap. Deidara was momentarily relieved by this fact.

Down the corridor, Deidara had to adjust his notes again, Leader-sama had been generous, he had reserved them separate rooms. Deidara grinned when he found this out, surviving travelling with Sasori was bad enough, sleeping in the same room as him might kill Deidara.

'Actually', Deidara thought as he sat down on his bed, after having been instructed by his partner not to leave the hotel, or better even the room, on the assumption that if he did, he would somehow manage to create a situation not suitable for carrying out their mission, 'it's more a cupboard than a room (un)'

It only took a few seconds for boredom to seep into Deidara.

Deidara reached down to a pouch attached to his leg, extracted from it a small, brownish mass. Softening the clay with his fingers Deidara tried to decide on a form to give his artwork.

Nothing entered his mind, and Deidara sighed in frustration. This wasn't supposed to happen! He was _Deidara_, he was an _artist_, he couldn't just suddenly lose all inspiration, it was just impossible. Actually, Deidara did rather more that sigh, his eyebrows rose and scrunched up, while he let out that sigh, simultaneously slammed the clay onto the counter top next to him, catapulted himself onto his feet and started pacing.

It was all because of those stupid comments.

Fidgeting, he sat down again, resting his face in his hands. He was extremely confused, he didn't understand why those little comments where setting him off.

Deidara felt himself heat up.

That was a lie, of course, he _did_ know, and he also knew that he knew. It was all a hugely complicated mess in Deidaras head.

It was Sasori. Deidara clutched his head harder, trying to get his partner out of it. It wasn't fair; Deidara was feeling like he had a spilt personality. On the one hand he wanted to watch his partner burn, watch his eyes fall out and shatter. Then on the other hand, there was something more gentle. Deidara couldn't explain. It wasn't very strong, nor very prominent and yet, it seemed important.

Clay from his hands mingled with his long blond hair as he hit himself with frustration, of course he knew what it was, he wasn't stupid.

There was a knock on the door. It wasn't the faint knock of someone who doesn't know you or feels that you don't need to be disturbed, it was the kind of arrogant knock of someone who not only knows you, but also feels that you are either inferior or not due the respect of being pulled from thoughts gently.

Deidara groaned.

Sasori entered slowly. Deidara's head started pounding like that of a captured animal.

"What do you think, brat?" Sasori asked as he advanced through the room.

"W-what, un?" Deidara hadn't meant to stutter, but he was feeling traped.

"I asked what you think, brat,"

"Think of wha-" Deidara glanced around quickly

"-t, un?"

"You know what,"

"Un?" It came out as a panicked squeal.

Sasori towered above Deidara, who was still sitting on the bed, normally, it would have been Deidara towering above his partner.

Deidaras' eyes locked onto his partners red hair, avoiding his eyes.

"Do you agree with them, brat?" Sasori snarled.

"With who, danna, un?" the 'un' came out very quietly.

"The people here,"

Deidara stayed silent. For some reason, right now, he was terrified of his partner.

"What do you think?"

"I-I I don't know, un!"

"You do, brat." The other man growled at him.

"That we would make a good couple? You've been getting annoyed about it all day," somehow Deidara was now more scared than before, the sentence had been phrased as a question. A particularly cut throat, threatening, you-_will_-die-if-you-don't-answer question.

Deidara stalled for a few seconds. Apparently that was too long.

His head crashed into the wall behind him, his partner hovering a few inches away from Deidara, the look of a predator in his eyes.

"What do you think?" he snarled again, his grip tightened on Deidaras' neck and shoulder, where his partners hands pushed him against the cold wall behind him.

Deidara whimpered like a rabbit trapped in headlights as Sasori lowered his lips slowly to Deidaras' neck.

"How do you feel, _brat_,"


	2. Chapter 2 part 1

Sasodei: 2

(still) eventual yaoi

At first Deidaras' breath hitched, he'd thought, just for a moment, that his partner was about to show affection. He had, very foolishly, he had scolded himself later, briefly thoughts that Sasori was about to kiss his neck. He realised he was wrong when he felt the thin, cold sensation of teeth against his skin.

The teeth started to press, ever so lightly, ever so slowly, against his flesh. Deidara knew he would have to answer the question, or else Sasori might kill him. Just how? Deidara needed to find out himself what exactly the answer to that question should be, but right now, he needed it fast.

Sasoris' teeth were staring to dig into his neck painfully. Deidara screamed. At first, it was just rage, but then it changed to words.

"Get off me un!" He screamed, trying to prise his partner off him with his hands, silently cursing the mouths implanted on his palms which made it so difficult for him to apply pressure from the surface of his palm. After a second Deidara attempted biting Sasori with these hands, but that didn't seem to have any effect.

Deidara could tell that his partners teeth were about to penetrate his skin.

"Leave me alone, un!" his voice seemed to echo around the tiny room.

Deidara felt a trickle of hot liquid down his neck, followed by piercing pain as his partners' teeth slowly bit into the now exposed muscle.

"Stop it, un!" He shouted, but the man pinning him to the wall took no notice.

Sasoris' teeth continued to press into his flesh.

Deidara screamed in pure agony, finally giving in, slumping against the wall.

"I love you, un," he whispered, biting down on his lip. Sasori released Deidaras shoulder from both his teeth and grip. Deidara stared for a moment at his partner's blood stained face, before turning to stare at the wall.

Sasori smiled, though the blood smears distorted his carefully constructed jawline.

"See brat, it wasn't that hard," he told Deidara before leaving the room.

When he was sure Sasori was gone, Deidaras' hand crept slowly up to the crevice of his neck, trying to make out the wound. He flinched as his hand, with its embedded mouth, tasted blood on his shoulder. As he explored further, he found the deep crecent shaped gash.

Deidara bit his lip.

"Damn it Danna, I love you, doesn't that mean anything to you, un?" he whispered into the wall.

The next morning Deidara woke up to great a cold and hard floor, at a very high velocity.

"uuuhr, un," he grumbled before sudden pain from his shoulder silenced him.

"Get up, brat,"

Sasori.

Deidara had no idea what to do. He got up anyway, not making another noise and watching the ground carefully. A cold hand brushed his hair away from his shoulder, Deidara shivered.

"Looks pretty bad," Deidara felt his blood boil instantly, he could just stand there and say that, although it was him who had made the stupid wound.

"Stay still brat!"

Sasori was looking at the wound closely, and Deidara had started to move back a little, on pure instinct. His jaw clenched. Something warm touched the wound and Deidara jerked back, looking disgusted.

'He didn't just...'

Sasori moved forward again

'...He did'

Sasori licked the wound, carefully scrubing away the smeared blood. Deidara had noticed too late that he had backed himself up against a wall. He was trapped there until Sasori finally decided he had had enough fun and got out some bandages. Deidara flinched as his partner wrapped the bandages around his shoulder, it was a difficult area to bandage and Sasori had obviously decided that Deidara had had his daily quota of gentleness already.

"We've got to leave, brat, and fast, they've got anbu after us,"

It was the first thing that morning that Deidaras' partner had said that wasn't a command, but Deidara still wasn't pleased to hear that they had a pack of elite ninjas on their tracks.

"How, un?"

"Shut up, we've got to split up,"

And that had been it, Deidara was to take a long route in one direction; his partner had gone in the other.

'Not even like he said sorry before he left (un)' Deidara thought to himself.

'then again...' His hand wondered over the bandages around his shoulder that were now hidden under his cloak.

"Man, it's freezing, un," He rubbed his headband absentmindedly, suddenly grinning,

"At least I can enjoy myself this way, un!"

There was a crash slightly ahead of him.

"Un?"

'how did he get here? Un?' a confused Deidara thought before hurrying forwards.

Sasori smiled at him.

Deidara swallowed hard. Not a pretty, nice-to-see-you-smile, a cold hard smile, one that only Sasori could get quite like that.

"That's it brat, we better get back to the original route now,"

'That gave me about two hours to think over my relationship with you...' Deidara thought vaguely frustrated.

Deidara didn't need to ask, he would have known what had happened to the anbu even without the single tell tale blood stain on Sasoris' hand.

"This takes to long, un,"

"You suggesting we should use your "art" brat?"

Deidara was getting more annoyed the longer his partner was there. He growled inwardly but decided to, just once, save it for next time.

"Danna, we've really got to finish this mission quickly and it would be more practica-"

"Have you looked at the sky brat? There's no way we could fly without someone seeing us on your rubbish,"

"It's not rubbish, un,"

"And now you're going to get insulted,"

Deidara hated it when his partner just stated things like that, like he was totally predictable.

"ts, _brat_," Deidaras' hand flew out before he could stop it, grabbing his cloak and pullig him around to face Deidara, just as his first made contact with Sasoris hard face. He seethed, pulling his fist back, he pulled harder on his partners cloak.

And kissed him.

'damn it, Danna...'


	3. Chapter 2 part 2

Sasodei: Holding timebombs: 2 ½

(Sasoris' bit)

Under the impact of Deidaras body, Sasori crashed to the floor, Deidara clinging to him almost desperately. Sasori let his eyes widen for a moment, letting the expressin wash over his face, knowing just to well that Deidara wasn't watching.

Deidara whimpered, rolling to the side and curling up as he felt the effect of the Kunai Sasori was pressing into his side.

"Stop wasting time brat, we have a mission to do," Sasori started walking away from him.

Sasori quickened his pace, cursing his partner for both his courage and downright stupidity.

Sasori knew that Deidara was following him, by now, he was so used to the laters presence he didn't eed to look to confirm this. He was vaguely aware that Deidara was bleeding, but he ignored it.

He himself knew that if Deidara fell too far behind, he would not go back to get him. In fact, he'd probably take a different route when returning from the mission, just to avoid him.

Later, Deidara was sitting in a cave, Sasori was outside. Sasori wasn't sure what his partner was doing, he didn't care too much either. Probably just bleeding to death, Sasori shrugged the thought off, but then there was that annoying feeling again. Sasori frowned, he hated it when that happened, it just made him angrier.

He walked back into the cave. Sasori would have to make sure his partner was fit enough to participate in the mission tomorrow.

Deidara had fallen asleep. And there it was again. Sasori felt the sudden urge to hit his sleeping partner, to mess him up so badly that Sasori wouldn't have to deal with that troublesome twitch. It was all Deidaras' fault anyway.

He treated the wound in Deidaras' side that night. By morning Deidara was fine, at least, as far as Sasori was concerned. Sasoris growing anger added to his feeling of need to finish this mission as quickly as possible, so he split up with Deidara during the mission.

He had allocated Deidara the task of pursuing their victim, keeping them clear of the target, which Sasori was getting, and of course, disposing of said victim. Sasori sighed, he knew Deidara was perfectly capable of that.

He turned the door handle of said victims' house. It wasn't locked; this was too simple, really. He strode through the house for a while. Sasori liked it. The houses fittings were timeless and sleek, made out of materials that would not be affected by time or use. Yes, he liked this house very much. He found what he was looking for in a round room that appeared to be some sort of tower, concealed from below by the sides of the roof.

Sasori sighed as he looked around, what a shame to waste it, it could have been a brilliant place for making his puppets. He lent down and picked up the bundle of scrolls and papers he had been sent for. He would have to make sure his subordinate was doing his part of the mission at least halfway efficiently now. He growled at the thought of checking on him again.

There would be that annoying feeling.

And then he'd gat angry and hurt him.

And after that would come another twinge of something Sasori couldn't stand.

It felt a bit like guilt.

Though he didn't know that, to Sasori, it was just another thing to make him angry.


	4. Chapter 3

Sasodei: Holding timebonbs: 3: (sorta-ish) yaoi

Deidara stared down at a small crater carved out of the ground in front of him. That was it, mission over, time to go back to the hideout. Deidara sighed.

Now all he had to do was get there without talking to or looking at Sasori-danna. Just travel for three days minimum without...

He touched his lips. It had only been yesterday that he had kissed him. But right now, it felt like then was a lifetime ago.

Deidara gave up, it was pointless.

'I should never have done that anyway, what the hell was I thinking, un?' Deidara looked around, chunks of flesh were just about visible in the nearby trees, where they had been flung by the bomb he had set off. He shoved his hands in his pockets, deciding he didn't care whether the stupid forest was clean or not, even if there was a fine for littering.

'I mean... un, all he did was ask what I felt, he never said anything about himself, un' Deidara lowered his head as the thoughts ran through his head.

'Better go find him anyway, un,' He turned and walked into the forest.

But he didn't need to; he turned to find his partner standing behind him, looking, if possible, more disdainful and annoyed at his existence than ever. Deidara wanted to go mad, as he found now that, just like with everything else Sasori did, he couldn't even understand the words or meanings his partner gave him, let alone his actions.

"Time to go, brat," was the last and only thing Deidaras' partner said to him for the entire journey, it both relieved him and depressed him. They arrived at the Akatsuki base two days later, too soon. They hadn't stopped to sleep or eat, Deidara was exhausted, having only lived off the scarce provisions he had had on him.

He woke up two days later, on his own, in a hard bed. Groaning and, after getting out of it, kicking the bed, he checked what he was wearing, and then left to find some breakfast. He would have had too be really slow to not have realised he was back at the hideout.

He wondered where Sasori-danna was. He shook his head, no he didn't, and he didn't want to know either. Deidara smiled brightly, marching through the hideout. At least he had remembered to check what he was wearing before leaving his room...

The Akatsuki had had some rather strange incidents due to people not doing that. The hideout was, as was typical, empty. Most of the other members were out on missions, and you could never tell exactly when who would be back. But Deidara had to admit it was weird for it to be this quiet, he frowned slightly as he opened the door to the kitchen and living area and found it completely empty.

But Deidara enjoyed it anyway, grabbing something from the fridge carefully, to avoid having something which was not meant to be eaten by any other member or, even worse, was.

He flinched as a sharp pain shot through his shoulder when he tried to support himself against the wall using his hand.

He touched the wound gently with his other hand, a lopsided grin spreading slowly across his face.

_Sasori danna._

His fingers moved around the mark, trying out where Sasoris' jaw had been. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine the scene in that hotel room again.

Him, pinned against the wall, and Sasori, hovering over him, his lips curling back from his teeth.

Those lips.

Deidara grinned. He had kissed those lips, and at the same time he had felt his partners legs buckle under them as he crashed into Sasori. Admittedly, Sasori hadn't been too happy about it. But maybe, just maybe, it had been worth it.

"_Brat_,"

'Okay, so it is a derogatory term' Deidara thought, 'But its something only Danna calls me, something between him and me,' Deidara frowned slightly, keeping his eyes shut. 'Even if it hurts'

"Brat,"

Deidaras' eyes shot open.

"Sasori-danna, un? What are you doing here, un?"

"What do you think, brat?

Deidara froze, remembering the last time his partner had used those words.

He stuttered slightly, then looked up at his partner.

"You idiot," Deidara stared.

"I live here, just like you do," Sasori turned around an started to leave the room.

Deidara watched him, trying desperately to find a fitting retort, when Sasori turned to face him again.

"I have a mission for tomorrow, so you will be here on your own until someone gets back, check the board if you want to know," he reached out for the door handle.

'Think, c'mon think un!' Deidara thought frustrated.

"Whe-,"

"On my own,"

"Huh, un?"

"The mission, I'm doing it on my own,"

"Wha-,"

The door closed behind Sasori and Deidara stared at it for a few minuets.

Deidara started at it for a long time. He knew Sasori would leave as soon as possible.

By now, he might even have already left.

Deidara left the room, sighing, walking down the corridor. Sasori seemed to be his biggest problem now, and he felt exhausted, useless as though just being around Sasori sucked the life out of him, and Deidara usually had so much energy that it was even more disturbing for him.

A few minuets later, Deidara was working some clay in his room. He wasn't trying to make anything, he was just working it through his fingers to stop himself from thinking about his partner. Every few minuets or so, he had to add a little water to the drying clay.

Hands still steadily moulding the clay repetitively, Deidara tried to calm his thoughts. He had passed Sasoris' room on the way to his own and had discovered that not only had his partner forgotten to lock his door, bat had not even closed it. As Deidara passed it, his eyes had flickered through the slight crack between door and wall and had seen something there.

A something that was refusing to leave Deidaras mind.

Deidara tried to concentrate on his clay again, but the thought returned. He slammed the clay onto the workbench in front of him in frustration.

"This just isn't working, un!" he shouted, kicking his chair aside as though it had offended him.

"I'll just go and blow the damn thing up, un!"

If anyone had been watching him as he walked towards his partners room, Deidara would have been embarrassed just by the shade of red his face now was, yet alone what they might have said. Luckily for him, nobody was in the base and therefore, nobody could see him. Deidara pressed his hand against the door, his face heating up just a little more. He slid through the gap and pressed it back behind him. It closed with a loud crashing noise and Deidara turned, shocked, to see if he had damaged anything. Not that it would really matter after he had blown that thing up.

His eyes fell on _it_. _It_ was straight in front of Deidara. The whole width of the room wasn't more than 10 paces, so Deidara found himself, in only a few seconds, standing right infront of it.

He couldn't do it.

"Sasori-danna, un," he whispered.

He reached out, his fingers trailing lightly down its cheek. He stared. Sitting across from him was a perfect replica of Sasoris' puppet body. As Deidara touched it, he realised that it was one of the puppets his partner had made from the corpse of an enemy.

'So, technically... it's just some random guy?' he thought quietly, his finger still resting on its cheek.

"But it's so much like him, un," there were lots of things Deidara wanted to find out about Sasori, and he thought that maybe, this could be a clue.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to its.

He shivered slightly, this puppet was too realistic.

Deidara sighed, he may as well. He leaned a little further forward, gripping the puppets body. His face heated up more.

'oh man, why doesn't he put clothes of these things, un?' he pulled it onto Sasoris bed. Standing up, he pulled his shirt over is head, then slowly, embarrassed, he took of his trousers. He lay down next to the puppet, pressing his body into its.

'It used to be human so it should work,' he shook the thoughts away 'but will it still react if it hasn't got a living core, un?' He kissed it again.

He started to move his hands over the puppets body, then shifted his own body a little, so that his weight was balanced out. A spark ran through him as he moved. He pressed himself harder against the puppet body, slight moans escaping his mouth every time he moved.

He nuzzled its neck while moving his body rhythmically. His hands flew between holding the puppet, caressing it, and himself.

"_Sasori-danna_,"

Gripping the replica of Sasoris body closer, he ground against it, his whole body heating up, becoming electric.

"_Danna_,"

Deidara opened is eyes.

"Damn it, un," He pushed himself of the bed, "I knew I should have blown it up, un" He pressed his hands against his cheeks, trying to cool himself down. There was a shimmer of light across the floor. It was already morning, Deidara realised with a slight start.

"I'll have to check to see about when there'll be anyone coming back, un"

Deidara only got halfway down the corridor before he realised something was wrong.


	5. Chapter 4

Sasodei: holding timebombs: 4

(Yes it's still eventuall yaoi)

Deidara curled up in his bed. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry because of what he had just done. One thing was for sure though; he would have to clean up before Sasori got back. His partner really would kill him if he found out what Deidara had just done to his puppet.

He laughed quietly, reaching out a hand to a pouch left beside his bed. As his hand found its edge, he sat up in his bed, grinning widely. From inside the bag he pulled a large amount of reddish clay. It was packed together into a hard lump and would need some working over before he could actually start making anything. Deidara now wrapped his fingers into it, the grin on his face shifting between gentle and manic. It started to take form as Deidara smoothed over its surface with his thumbs, fingers and the tongues of the mouths in his hands. He couldn't add to much pressure, otherwise the inside of the figure would collapse.

When the basic form was done he started to carve in tiny, almost non existent marks, which would, although they could hardly be seen on their own, complete the figure in the end. Deidara smiled at his sculpture. As Deidara moved his hands carefully around the damp sculpture, he made sure he held it just right, so that it didn't leave fingerprints. Lots of things in life were like that. Deidaras face fell. Yeah, a lot of things.

'My art,' he thought silently 'has been my only love, my whole life'

He paused, simply staring at the sculpture for a little while longer.

'Am I really in love with him?' Confusion started to cloud his mind. He added the last few touches to the sculpture, still caringly, but maybe slightly differently from before.

'I don't even know what it's like to love another human being' he laughed out loud, putting his sculpture down.

"If you can call Danna that, un" Deidara walked downstairs, fully dressed, but he was bored now. He closed his eyes while walking down the stairs and yawned.

"What the hell Deidara?" someone growled. Deidara froze.

'Oh shi-' Deidara thought, backing up slightly. 'I really should have checked that board earlier,'

Deidara moved to the side.

"Isn't Sasori here?" the shorter of the two figures across from Deidara asked.

"No, un. He eh..." Deidara thought for a moment. The other two seemed impatient as Deidara searched for an answer.

"... gone, un," Deidara finished carefully.

"Where?"

"I don't know, un,"

"Useful," the taller of the two snorted.

"Enough, Kisame,"

The taller, Kisame, fell silent.

"He should be here Deidara," Deidara stared at the shorter man.

"What, un? He said he'd-," Deidara stopped, his head spinning.

"Oh what the hell," He shouted, throwing his hands in the air and walking towards the kitchen area. Deidara was angry all of a sudden. He Stormed over to the board that hung on the wall. His eye taking in the information. Still annoyed and frustrated, he left the compound. He walked into the forest, his legs stiff and his face angry. He sat down, placing five tiny clay figurines around him in a circle.

'Oh man, I've got to calm down,' he thought desperately as he brought his hands together. He threw a several small pieces of clay into the air a moment later.

"Katsu!"

Five beautiful, yeas, truly beautiful, explosions exploded around him, and fused together above him, creating a tunnel around him, and enveloping him in their passing beauty.

Deidara kept his eyes wide open while the explosion lasted, soaking in every split second of it.

'I wish everything could be like this,' The last swirls of smoke where dragged away by the wind. Deidara pouted.

"But that's its beauty, un!" He told the world in general.

"Deidara,"

Deidaras' head snapped around, grin still plastered across his face.

"Da..." He stared at the man before him.

"Danna, un?"

His partner didn't answer. Deidara leaned forward, slightly worried, although it wasn't unusual for his partner to not answer his quetions.

"Where were you, un? I talked to Itachi-san and he-" A hand shot out at Deidara, catching him around the neck and catapulting him into a tree behind him.

"Danna, un!"

But his partners carefully jointed hand only curled itself more tightly around his neck. Sasori was looking down, his face obscured as Sasori as had to stretch his whole arm upwards in order to keep hold of Deidaras' neck. A low growling noise reached Deidaras' ears. He was scared. He hated to admit it, but even an S class criminal of the very worst kind was scared of _someone_. And for Deidara, it was Sasori.

"Sasori-danna, un!"

Deidara stared down at his partner, who still didn't reply, and then, suddenly, felt pain spitting though his stomach. He gasped involuntarily and looked down.

When he tore his eyes away, they fell on his partners face. Sasori was looking at him now, his eyes completely empty.

Deidara knew he couldn't reach the pouches of clay by his side, and even if he could have, it would been too obvious. If Sasori noticed he was reaching for his clay, a second would be all he would have to find and use it. Sasoris' eyes glowed lifelessly as he stared out at Deidara.

'Can I really love this man?' Deidaras mind was a mess, pain and thoughts twining together.

"Brat,"

"What un?"

"You stupid brat,"

'oh fuck,' Deidara thought, clenching his teeth in pain. 'I should have just stayed with my art. I should have stuck with my art and never, never even thought about him. Ever, un. I wish my feelings could have been an explosion'

"What are you doing, un, Sasori-danna?"

'I wish they had been here one moment,'

"I can't tell you,"

'I wish they had been gone the next moment,'

"Get away from me Danna!" He screamed at his partner, suddenly loosing the little self control he had had.

Sasoris hand flew away from Deidaras' neck, and Deidara watched as his partners face, unable to form expressions which might show emotions, contorted as a sickening sound left its mouth.

Deidara burned.

He had laughed.

"I'll kill you, un!" Deidara didn't know where the scream had come from, didn't realise it was him shouting until the last syllable echoed around them. Deidara stared at his partner, who stood perfectly motionlessly across from him, and moved a hand to his side. He watched as Sasori stared at him, not a single emotion showing in his eyes.

'How could I have ever thought that he even might...' Deidara moved his hand in front of his face and watched the blood drip off it.

And suddenly Sasori was standing right next to him, although he wasn't looking and couldn't feel any heat from what Deidara knew was an artificial body. Deidara was only vaguely aware that his hand was no longer in front of his face, but was being held gently in Sasoris', whose eyes examined it, but still they showed no emotion. Deidara felt his arm being pulled at a little, and didn't resist. Sasori licked his fingers gingerly. Deidaras fingers.

Deidara felt a little dizzy as he watched his own blood dribble down his partners face.

"Try it, brat," Sasoris' voice echoed lightly around Deidaras' head, but his thoughts where elsewhere.

'Oh shoot,' a voice in his head whispered, suppressing both the pain and Sasori, 'I never did clean up his room,'


	6. Chapter 5

SasoDei : Holding timebombs : 5

(yaoi)

Deidaras' heart thumped in his chest. There were several things buzzing around his head. Three to be precise, one involved the name 'Sasori', another the word 'holding' and the last the noun 'hand'.

He felt light headed with happiness and sick with anxiety at the thought of his partners' motives. His partner was walking in front of him, tugging him along by his arm. There was still a little blood stuck to Sasoris' jaw and it scared Deidara more, making him shiver just slightly.

"Danna, un," his voice came out as a shaky whisper, although he had intended it to be strong.

Sasori paused and looked at him.

That damned smile twisting his face again. Deidara hated it. He.... he wanted Sasori to be happy. He hated the thought, it was so cliché and naïve but it was what he wanted. It really was. But this, this just didn't seem lie it was really Sasori.

"I know," Deidara was cut out of his thoughts by Sasoris voice.

"Lets' play a game,"

Deidara shivered, though at that point he had no idea what was coming at him.

Later, Deidaras' partner bore down on him slowly, pushing his arms away with more force than he would have needed to merely keep him there. Deidara could have sworn he might break them, if he had been in any position to swear.I

Sasori lowered his lips to Deidaras' neck, who flinched, remembering the last time Sasori had done this, and felt a twinge of fear open I him, that and something else too. Of course, this time it was different. This time Deidara didn't have anywhere to run or, more importantly, anything to hide behind. He had been scared, he'd just done what his partner had asked him. He hadn't thought about it. He shivered feeling Sasoris' lips touch his neck, almost gently, Deidaras' own face prickling with heat. Still holding Deidaras' arms down too strongly, Sasori rubbed his nose against Deidaras' neck and pressed his body into Deidaras'. Deidara bit his lip to stop himself from voicing the nameless heat inside him.

"Get off me, un" a grin unfolded on Sasoris' face, a small sly and definitely evil grin. Sudden panic ripped at Deidara as he realised exactly what his partner was planning, and he tried to free himself of Sasori, trying, almost helplessly, to pull his arms free of Sasoris' grip.

He was suddenly horribly aware of what he had got himself into by simply following Sasoris' orders.

"Get off me, un! this time he shouted it, violently trying to wrench himself free. Sasori smiled again

"I said GET OFF ME, UN!" none of Deidaras' struggling seemed to affect Sasori, who simply continued to smile slyly, his lips now parting slightly.

"But you want it," Sasoris' eyes shone malignantly,

"Dei," Deidara himself shook slightly listening to this, realising just _how_ different from normal his partners voice sounded. Sasori had dragged that one syllable out, his voice deepened and he drawled slightly with just the smallest hint of sarcasm in his voice, so that Sasoris' voice sprawled across the room, catching in Deidaras' ears, making his brain quiver in fear and his body in excitement.

Deidara gritted his teeth, angry that his body had given him away so easily.

"No, un! Get off me, un!"

"You do, though,"

"No, UN!"

Sasori trailed his tongue along Deidaras' neck.

"You do. Otherwise I don't think you would have bothered to molest my puppet,"

Deidara was stunned for a moment,

'_how can he know?_' Deidaras' thoughts echoed around his otherwise empty head. He shook his head, discarding the thoughts.

"No, un," he stared up at Sasori, anger boiling I his eyes. Sasori laughed.

"We'll see, Dei,"

Deidara screamed, Sasori pushed into him. Not slowly, not gently, not caring what the other felt.

"Get off me, un! Get off me get off me GET OFF ME YOU BASTARD UN!" he gasped desperately for air.

Sasori ignored him and continued, pushing in and out, faster and harder. Deidara gave up on words and screamed wordlessly, anger pulsing in his voice. But Deidara knew, in the few flashed thoughts he was still capable of keeping a hold on, that his wordless screams were not really of anger, but simply to disguise the other burning emotions, and particularly noises, that might escape him. So he fled into anger.

Sasori seemed to relish it, grinning again as he pushed Deidaras' arms down further. Deidara still screamed, his voice faltering slightly as he gasped for air. Deidara felt something slam against his throat, knocking any air that had been inside him out.

"Shut up," is partners' voice growled, heavy.

One hand holding Deidaras' wrists, the other his throat, Sasori pushed harder. Deidara bit down on his lip to stop himself from moaning and gasping, wishing he could scream to cover up for his body. He felt sick, he could feel his back arching and a hot, tight throbbing in his lower body.

Something warm ran down his chin. Deidara hurriedly tried to unbury his teethe fro his lower lip at the same time as trying not to show Sasori how good it felt. Physically, at least. Sasori didn't seem to care, thrusting into Deidara, harder this time, pure pleasure showing at the edges of his lips and eyes. Not too much, but enough to drive Deidara crazy. He buried his teeth further into his lip and another bead of blood descended down along his jaw line. His own eyes widened as Sasoris' focused hazily on the blood.

He watched, silent, as Sasori lowered his face towards Deidaras' own. Sasoris' tongue lapping up the blood from his lips, while he still continued the fast, steady movement of his body. Deidara gasped, blood dribbling out of his mouth as his teeth left his lip. The air stuck in his lungs as he felt Sasoris' tongue lick away the blood. Not greedily lapping it up like before, but smoothing it gently away from the wound and into Sasoris' mouth. Then Sasoris' mouth covered his and it took Deidara a moment that Sasori was kissing him. Suddenly Deidara tried to wrench his hands free again, surprising Sasori, who moved his lips away from him hastily, but continued that thrusting motion of his hips. A moment later Deidara started to scream again, his voice filling every space around them, before he had to gasp for air and continued again.

Deidara screamed louder as everything around him seemed to intensify. A burning hot, white, liquid feeling shot through him. Sasori pulled out, and before Deidara knew what had happened, he rolled over and Sasori got up. Deidara didn't want to look at him. Not ever again. Not after this. He heard the floorboards creek and turned to look. His eyes fell across the room just in time to see the back of Sasoris' cloak, the colours hard to distinguish in the dim light, sweep through the doorway.

After Sasoris' form had dissolved into the corridor, Deidara turned again, mustering up just a little energy, but enough. Looking down he contemplated the wet patch on the floor next to him. He trailed a finger through it. He had come just seconds after Sasori, but he would make sure his partner never knew.

Lying on his back so that he faced the ceiling, Deidara started to think. It was strange, his empty mind told him, he had been a criminal for a long time now. A deadly, hunted and feared criminal. He had seen this happen before, not to him, but, living as a criminal, he had seen a lot of things. Not lately though, the Akatsuki saw a lot of blood crime, but otherwise they shut themselves up in their little base, almost as though they were trying not to see any crime that was not their own. In a way that most of the Akatsuki refused to acknowledge, Akatsuki itself had become a kind of safe haven for them all. Maybe it had made him a little soft, but that was irrelevant now.

He hadn't expected it to feel that way, and now he was more angry at himself, his body particularly, for reacting. He screamed again, trying to wash out the memories with the noise, the anger. Closing his eyes he fell quiet. Sasoris' face drifted there, as ever, even now, and Deidara stared at it, like ever, even now.

"Sasori danna, un," he whispered, chocking on the last syllable, but he wasn't crying. It would have been too strange to cry again, just because it had happened to him, when he had seen things like this and others so many times, when he had done things just as terrible, although not the same, and not cared, not even turned to look twice.

He knew he was calm enough to get up now, and so he did, he walked around the house, a stranger to him, found a bathroom and washed, put his clothes back on and left.

It didn't feel like enough.


	7. Chapter 6

SasoDei : Holding Timebombs : 6

Two days had passed, and Deidara had still not returned to the Akatsukis' base. He had spent those two days loitering in a foreign town and trying to think of excuses not to go back. Or more importantly, reasons not to think of his partner. He had recognised the town he found himself in almost immediately after he left the house; it was the same village they had had a mission in only a few days before.

Deidara was amazed at how much things could change ion just a few day. Not long ago it seemed he had been such a child, doing anything, saying anything, just to get Sasori to notice him, even if it wasn't the kind of attention he really wanted. At least if his partner was angry, he was acknowledging his existence.

'And now look what all this has got me' he thought as he sat down by the side of a path just outside the village, and watched dusks dusty hues settle over it.

Sasori

Sasori

Sasori was everything Deidara could think of, however much he tried to forget.

The reason Deidara didn't want to go back was not to avoid his partner after what had happened, but because he dreaded the cold, unemotional look on his partners face. It was having to admit that Sasori really didn't care, even with all of this having happened, that stopped Deidara returning to the only home he had. Deidara stood suddenly, knowing that his only choice was to return. Because, it really was the only home he had. He had entered the Akatsuki of his own will; no one had done that. The Akatsuki sought out strong ninjas, the very best, and forced them to join. That was just how it worked.

But after a while, Deidara hadn't minded it anymore. It wasn't like he had anywhere else he could have called home. He was by nature empathetic, if not sympathetic, and could understand the emotions of nearly all of the members of the Akatsuki. They were all the same in some ways. But, he couldn't understand their reactions to their emotions, couldn't understand the way they acted. Most of the time, the others actions just made him angry. Deidara was entirely different from most of the members of the Akatsuki in at least one way: he knew, and understood, what emotions were. Whether he himself was aware of this or not.

A white bird erupted from itself in front of Deidara, it size increasing by a hundred fold. Snuggling onto the familiar hard surface of the clay, he directed the bird in the right direction. All members of the Akatsuki seemed to be able to orientate themselves to the base from just about anywhere after only a few months in the organisation. But Deidara knew this wasn't due to some shared genius between them, but simply became accustomed after returning to the base from so many missions to so many different places.

He would be there soon now.

Tipping downwards, The bird made for a clearing below. It wasn't very close to the base, but that was a good thing. Leader would not be happy if people saw huge clay birds landing in suspicious spots and came to investigate. Not happy at all. So Deidara let his bird implode again and started towards the Akatsuki again. Leader probably wouldn't be all too pleased anyway, he had probably had missions planned for him and Sasori in the two days Deidara had not returned. He sighed as he trudged up to the hidden entrance of the base. It was too much bother just to get into the damned place, so after a long and complicated procedure, which would, in him doing it, alert the other members that he was entering. Or at least the Leader, who seemed to be the only one who cared who was where anyway. Deidara was surprised. There were a lot more of the Akatsukis' members there than there had been when he left. Nearly all of them, in fact. He sighed. The Akatsukis' base was laid out so that after you entered the hallway, you had to pass through the main room, which was used as a kitchen, a dining and a living room, to get into the back corridor, from which you could get into the individual rooms. Therefore, Deidara had to walk through the main room to get to his own room.

He knew who was there because, in the style of a true ninja, he had looked through the keyhole to check for his partner. But however much he wanted to avoid Sasori, he had to go through that room to reach his own. Deidara stopped for just a moment, thinking.

'Why is Sasori danna in the main room anyway?' he wondered.

'Usually he practically refuses to come out of his room until we have a mission,'

Deidara pushed the door open, and hoped he would be able to cross the room, keeping to one side, before anyone noticed. No such luck. A voice disturbed his concentration on crossing the room before he was even halfway across.

"Deidara! I see you've decided to come back, loser,"

Deidara knew who was talking, but turned to look anyway.

"Loser, un?" Deidara raised his visible eyebrow.

"Yeah, you"

Deidara growled.

"Enough, Kisame," a sharp, monotone voice cut in.

"We don't need you to provoke Deidara-san into blowing up this base,"

Kisame was quiet.

Deidara started to stomp towards the other side of the room again, more annoyed now than if Kisame had just called him some petty name. No, he was annoyed because the Uchiha seemed to think Deidara needed him to save him, and that he had so little self control that he'd blow the base up after one little argument. Deidara slammed the door to the corridor. If that were the case, Leader would never have paired him with Sasori, because the two of them had never got along.

Sasori.

Deidara stopped in his tracks. He had though of him, again. Deidara shook his head, getting rid of the feeling that pounded on his head and made him feel stupid, and pushed the door to his room open.

"Deidara,"

His heart stopped. Another voice he knew.

'He must have followed me in,' Deidara thought in the split second before he turned around.

"What is it?" Deidara growled

Shaking his head so that his red hair flicked out around his face, Sasori looked up at him. It occurred briefly to Deidara that it seemed absolutely idiotic that this particular member of the organisation was so short. 'short' wasn't something most people applied to people of Sasoris' mental state.

"Where were you?"

"Just hanging around, un,"

"_Where were you, brat?_"

"I don't know, un, wherever you fucking left me," Deidara felt anger bubbling up in him, as though it were going to overflow any second.

"Brat,"

"What, un?" Sasori laughed at his question.

"That was a statement, as in, you are a brat," Deidaras' partner turned to walk down the corridor towards his own room.

"Why don't you just leave me alone, un?" Deidara snarled after him, feeling not upset or anxious as he had earlier, but just purely wretched. He wanted to tear Sasori apart.

Not because he hated him, but because he loved him.

"Sasori danna, un," Sasori ignored him, but, when he reached his door, he turned to face Deidara again.

"What is it now brat? Have you finally managed to think of something to say that's worth me wasting my time to listen to?" Deidara felt his cheeks tense ion a way that forced his lips back from his teeth, forming something that was somewhere between a snarl and a smile on his face.

"Yeah, un"

"Really now? Tell me, why do I find that hard to believe?" Deidara didn't say anything.

"You're wasting my time, you know,"

Deidaras' fist connected with Sasoris' face. Hard. Sasoris' body crashed into the door behind him from the impact, forming distinct cracks in its wooden frame.*

Sasori froze for a moment, stunned. Then, so quickly that Deidaras' eyes could hardly keep hold of him, Sasori stood up, grabbing for Deidara.

And kissed him roughly.

"I never know what's coming with you," The door slammed in Deidaras' face. He felt his knees buckle as he slid to the floor. Thoughts running mad in his head,

'This is going to be a lot more difficult that I thought,' Deidara sighed 'un,'

*The doors, not Sasoris'


	8. Chapter 7

SasoDei : Holding Timebombs : 7

Deidara closed his own door behind him. He lent back against the wall, touching his lips lightly with his fingers.

"I don't get it, Sasori danna, un," he muttered, apparently to himself.

"Damn it, un,

He sat down at his work desk, pulling some clay out of an airtight bag he kept in one draw, and started to mould it with his fingers. First, he carefully rolled out a ball, a few centimetres wide and then started to press his thumbs into the centre, smoothing the sides out. He put it down carefully and stated to make a second, almost identical little pot. When he had made two, he mixed a little clay with water and gouged crosshatches into the edges of the pot, pressing then together so that they made an egg shape. After he had pressed it into the basic shape, he took out some tools and started to add details, scratching them in with little knife like tools or his nails, smoothing over parts of the clays surface with his tongue, being very careful not to apply to much pressure which might make the little figure collapse into itself.

He finished by gouging the back of the miniature heart and covering it in the clay and water mixture, before pressing it to the sculptures chest. In his hands he held a perfect little Sasori. Deidara laughed. This was bad, really bad. He was becoming obsessive, but Deidara couldn't understand why.

There were three short, sharp knocks at his door. Deidara turned bin his seat.

"Come in," he called out, hoping it wasn't his partner.

The door only opened halfway, but a figure slipped in. Deidara recognised the person by the mass of blue hair.

"Hi Konan, un," he said turning back to his figurine, relieved that it was indeed not his partner, smashing the little figure securely back into a ball.

"Deidara," Konan stated, gliding towards him.

Deidara paused, smoothing the lump of clay out in his hand.

"Un,"

Konan leant against the edge of the desk.

"Where were you, Deidara?"

Deidara sighed.

"Somewhere, out where we had our last mission," He paused.

"I don't get it," Deidara laughed at her response

"I don't either,"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know,"

"Do you know anything?"

"I don't think so, Konan," Konan paused. Deidara was saying that he didn't think he knew anything, that was wrong, this was Deidara, he was supposed to think he knew everything. That was what Deidara was.

"You're thinking too much, and that's not like you, Deidara," Konan watched carefully as Deidara groaned, pushing his face into his clay smeared hands.

"Is it to do with Sasori? I thought I heard you two earlier..."

"What? No. Yes, un. Arg." When he finished speaking, he jumped up from his chair, hit his head on the lamp and squatted down on the floor.

"So it is?" Konans' eyes shone.

Deidara mumbled something that strangely resembled the noise a pig makes when it's being strangled, which made Konan giggle.

"Come on, tell me,"

"No, un," Deidara sighed.

"He hurt you, didn't he?" The sneaky inquisitive shine in Konans' eyes seemed to disappear as she looked at Deidara, to be replaced by a sad look. Deidara nodded.

Deidara looked up at the lamp.

"Yeah, he hurt me, un" He answered, 'in more ways than one,' he added in his head, feeling an unexplainable urge to hold his heart together with both hands. He didn't though, he wouldn't let any of the other Akatsuki members see that kind of weakness, even if it was only Konan. She was deadlier than most.

"hmm, Deidara?" she looked at the other member of her organisation quizzically.

"Yeah, un?" Deidara watched her face. She didn't look hostile right now.

"Are you in love with Sasori?" Deidara stared, he couldn't answer that! It had taken Sasori himself torture to get Deidara to admit it.

"I'll take your silence as a yes then," Deidara cringed.

"I'm not sure... anymore, un,"

"Deidara?"

"Yeah, un?"

"Don't make stupid excuses,"

"Yeah, un,"

"What did he do to you?"

"Why do you want to know, un?"

"Deidara," Konan looked at him seriously and Deidara started to look at the wooden flooring of his room.

"I..." He looked up at Konan quickly, then went back to watching the floor.

"I don't really want to think about it,"

They were both silent for a while. Deidara sat down on the floor and crossed his legs. Konan sat down next to him. She noticed the scratches on his arms that Deidara himself had not.

"Do you think," She started, looking right at Deidara,

"Do you think he doesn't understand how to hold on to something fleeting?" Deidara stared at her.

"What, un?" his mood had changed so erratically, for a reason he didn't understand, that he was almost shouting.

Konan smiled, opening the door to leave,

"Now shush, Deidara, I think we had better not let anyone else hear this conversation," Deidara watched her as she tilted her head to one side. Her smile was warm now, so different from the stone complexion that most of the Akatsukis' members were used to seeing on her face. He nodded, he trusted her now. He did know that he would have to avoid any conflict that might upset Konan to avoid her telling anyone about it, but it was too late anyway. Deidara shook his head, a grin splitting on his face when he heard the door close.

He didn't know why, but somehow, having told Konan that, made him want to hide his face behind his hands in case there was any possibility that anyone anywhere would see that grin. It made him feel alive. Knowing that he wasn't the only one who knew his own secret. It was a risk, and it might explode at any given moment. Deidara laughed out loud, however pitiful this situation was, he loved the way it felt. A constant buzzing and fizzing in his brain, as he sought out ways of avoiding the most dangerous parts of the most beautiful explosion he would ever witness, and he would be right at the centre of it. A metaphorical explosion, of course. He got up and went over to his desk again, picking up the little ball of clay that now lay on its surface and scrunched it up as tight as he could, pressing it into a different bag than the one he had taken it out of. Sealing that bag so that it was airtight, he sat down in his chair and stared at his desk for a while.

Once, someone had left a tiny amount of plaster powder on his desk and it had been really lucky that he had noticed it before he had started to make his sculpture; plaster expanded in heat, which would have changed the force with which the sculpture exploded, that would have meant that Deidara would not have estimated the right distance that he, and his partner, would have to be from it to prevent themselves from getting hit. That could have been disastrous. Deidara wondered what would have happened to them had he not seen that powder before starting his sculpture. Maybe then he wouldn't be in quite this situation. But it didn't matter, he was here now, dealing with this explosion rather than the last. You never had time to look back at the damage the last explosion had done, you just had to do your best with the one exploding in your face at that moment.

Sighing, he walked over to a little sink that was attached to the wall on the right side of his room. That being the side which would have been right were you looking in the door. He turned the handle, grimacing as it made a screaming noise, and started to wash his hands. Above the sink was a little sign which read 'Clay sink ONLY', that was important. Certain other members would kill him if anything else went down that sink, clogging up the pipes, meaning that they would have to be replaced. There was a light knock at the door.

"Danna, un," he stated without looking away from the sink. He heard the door creak a little as it was pushed open, then footsteps moving around on the floorboards behind him, which finally stopped while he was drying his hands on a towel that was crumpled next to the sink.

"Deidara, show me something,"

"Hmm, what 'something', un?" he glanced at his desk again, making sure that everything was in the right place. Noticing something, he made his way over to move a slim tool he had left on the desktop to its place in a thin tool drawer.

"Deidara," vexed, definitely sounded vexed, Deidara noted, nodding to himself, a slight smile forming on his face.

"Deidara, show me some of your art, I want to see it," Deidara spun around at this, his mind going blank.

"Danna?"


	9. Chapter 8

SasoDei : Holding Timebombs : 8

"Show me Deidara," Deidara stared,

"What, un?" he asked, amazed.

"I want to see your art, show me," Deidara considered Sasoris' face carefully. There was no way on earth Sasori would ever say that. It scared him, because Sasori was not meant to suddenly change his mind and wants. That just wasn't what 'forever' things did. And Sasori just happened to believe, very strongly, in 'eternity'.

Deidara was puzzled.

He was silent for a moment. "Okay, un," he muttered eventually giving his own feet a questioning glare. After pressing a handful of clay from the first air tight bag, Deidara turned to Sasori.

"We'll have to go outside, un" Deidara almost jumped at his own voice. He had spoken perfect monotone, not shaking at all and sounding as though Deidara truly didn't care. He shrugged it off and left the room, presuming Sasori would follow. There was a secluded spot near the base where Deidara usually experimented with his explosives, and he lead Sasori there. That was, if Sasori had followed him. When he arrived there, Deidara fed a small amount of clay into each of the mouths that were embedded in his palms, where these started to chew on and prepare the clay.

Deidara stopped and looked around. The ground was a little charred in places and it was visible where pieces of the scenery had been blown away during earlier experiments. It was obviously Deidaras' favourite training place. Nervously he looked back to check whether or not his partner had followed. To his surprise, he found his partner standing directly behind him, maybe a metre away, perfectly still. Deidara frowned nervously.

"You sure you wanna see this, un?" he asked, his voice deep. Sasori nodded.

"Danna..." Deidara trailed off.

"What?" Deidara hesitated, but after a moment, the cold, emotionless tone that his partner used sunk in. There was no point in making him angry.

"You hate my art, un," he said looking very intently at Sasori, and then continued, "I mean, you utterly despise it, un"

Sasori shrugged, his eyes moving briefly sideways as he made the gesture, and then back to Deidara, his face still impassive. Deidara was starting to get angry. He had the most irritating feeling that Sasori was making fun of him, or was at least planning to. Deidara scowled elaborately, turning away from his partner t the same time. A slight tingling flitted up his arms as the clay leaves the mouths in his palms. Slowly pushing the two separate lumps together, he started to mould the clay into a small bird.

Sasori still stood behind him, watching every one of his movements, and Deidara could feel his partners stare on his back. It made the hairs on his neck stand up.

"Here we go, un," He said, launching the bird into the sky, turning his head slightly to the side so that he could see his partners' expression in the corner of his vision.

"Watch, Danna," the bird swooped in towards them; Deidara knew the exact range of this bomb, it was very weak, and could be exploded only a few meters away from where they were standing. He pressed his hands together.

"Katsu!"

The bird blew up only a small distance away from them and Deidara couldn't help grinning. It was, as he had known it would be, a small explosion, but it had still been satisfying. The friction of the explosion had caused a rainbow of colours to emanate from the disintegrating figure briefly, for less than a second. Deidara couldn't help it, the force and beauty of the explosion changing his mood instantly; he turned around and grinned at his partner.

"What did you think, un? Danna?" his gaze fell on his partners face and his own grin evaporated into an utterly confused expression.

"Danna?"

"Deidara, that was..." Sasori paused and his forehead furrowed; Deidara watched him intently. Sasori seemed to come to a conclusion, shaking his head, he looked up at Deidara,

"Vile, absolutely vile. How can you call that rubbish art? It's terrible. Beyond words, uerch!" Deidara almost smiled, watching Sasori bury his face in his hands and try to express his disgust at Deidaras' art.

But it did make things more complicated. What Deidara was seeing before him now was _his_ Sasori danna, the man who he loved, not the twisted contortions of him he had seen in the last few days. This was Sasori, and Deidara knew it. It made his heart skip in his chest. Deidara took a step back, out of both confusion and precaution.

Shaking his head, he tried to clear out the confusion. He pressed his eyes shut so that he couldn't see Sasori and hoped that then, at least, his mind would clear. His mind still crowded with confused thoughts, Deidara laughed.

"So, you don't wanna see another one, un?" he asked, grinning at his partner. Sasori scowled at him.

"No, un?" Deidara laughed some more, watching his partners face distort itself into expressing different kinds of frustration, disgust and finally also anger. Something was hammering on the back of Deidaras' head, making him feel light and disorientated. He took a step forwards.

"No," Sasori stated, his voice flat and a frown forming across his face.

"I don't want to see any more of that ridiculous... of that rubbish," Sasori concluded.

"...un," Deidara frowned at his partner.

"Why did you want to see it anyway, un, Danna?"

Sasori didn't answer, but instead turned and started to walk away. On impulse, and anger, Deidara snatched at Sasoris' cloak sleeve and held onto it, subtly stopping his partner from leaving.

"Danna, un"

Sasori let his head roll back slightly, so that he could just see Deidara and, at the same time, tugged his arm, which Deidara was holding onto, slightly towards himself, as if to free himself of Deidaras' grip.

"What?" Sasoris' tone alone made Deidara flinch, almost loosing his grip on Sasoris' cloak.

"Tell me why, un," Sasori shook his head.

"I can't," Deidara clenched his teeth, frowning at Sasori.

"Why not, un?"

"Because I can't be bothered, now leave me alone,"

"Danna, un," Deidara protested as Sasori yanked his cloak out of his grip, and started walking away again. This time, Deidara didn't try to hold him back.

"Danna, un," he tried again, but Sasori was already too far away to hear, although, even had he heard, Deidara doubted he would stop.

"Shit, un," Deidara cursed, kicking the frozen ground beneath his feet. Tangling his hands into his long hair, he pulled at it, letting pain sear through his scalp, yet not pulling hard enough to tear and of his hair from his scalp. He shook his head, letting go, and hit himself, collapsing onto the floor at the impact of his own strength. Deidara sat, almost as though he were hypnotised, and laughed.

"Sasori, un," the name seemed to bounce around him, returning to his brain every few seconds. Deidara wondered whether it was echoing. He had stumbled clumsily over the syllables, but as they came back into his mind, they fell smoothly, just like poison that dripped from a blade. Just like Sasori himself. Deidara let his hand rest on his shoulder, where he could still feel bandages through the material of his cloak.

Hanging his head, Deidara walked slowly back to the Akatsukis' current base. He was walking slowly in order to sort out his confused thoughts and not trip over anything while doing so. He was confused. Sasori was normal, then nice, then horrible, then violent, then loving and then, and then, and then... It went on forever, and Deidara couldn't understand Sasoris' behaviour, no matter how hard he tried. First of all because he knew so definitely that they thought in completely different patterns and secondly because Sasoris' actions made no sense at all to Deidara. Unless...

Unless Sasori was acting _spontaneously. _

Deidara shook his head. That was never going to happen, if this was Sasori, he must have some sort of plan. Resting at the entrance of the base, he let out a breath, and then entered, passing through the shared area, and continuing straight into his own room. He slid down onto his bed, titling his head back to look at the ceiling. He was so confused. He was so _scared._ Deidara shivered, he didn't want this. He closed his eyes and wished things could have gone back to the way they were before this, when he just had a crush on Sasori, and Sasori hated him. This was terrible. Deidara put his hand into the pouch at his hips and pulled out a little clay, but, after moving it around between his fingers for a few moments, he put it back. There was no point, he just wasn't motivated. No inspiration what so ever.

The door creaked.

"What now, un?" he asked, annoyed at having his thoughts disturbed.

"Come here, now," Deidaras' head snapped up as he looked towards the door.

"Danna, un? You... what? I thought you wanted me to stay away from you, un?"

"Shut up, and come here," however reluctantly, Deidara followed Sasoris' order and lowered his feet off the bed, crossing the room.

"Take you cloak off," Sasori seemed to hesitate for a moment, "and your shirt,"

Deidara raised an eyebrow at his partner.

"I need to check the wound on your shoulder," he gave Deidara a serious look "that's all,"

Nodding, Deidara pulled off both his cloak and his shirt, wincing as he flexed the muscles in his back. Sasori indicated to him to sit down, and he obliged, letting his partner peel back the bandages and, after pressing some liquid, which Deidara presumed to be more disinfectant, to the wound replaced it with fresh dressings. Sasori took a step away from Deidara.

"That's it," Deidara nodded and stood up. Sasori started to leave, again.

"Sasori danna, un," Sasori turned to look at Deidara properly, not because of what he had said, but because of the tone he had used.

"Stay here, un, Danna,"


	10. Chapter 9

SasoDei: Holding timebombs: 9

(yaoi)

Deidara watched his partner hesitate, then crossed the room and pulled him further in, away from the door.

"Danna, un," Sasori pushed him as Deidara started to speak. Deidara stumbled and fell, breaking it slightly with his hand, his wrist twisting under him. He gritted his teeth and glared at Sasori.

"You're going to have to talk to me sometime, un," he hissed from between his teeth, and for a moment Sasoris' eyes, stared down at him, widened and looked confused.

"Damn you, un, I want to know why you're doing this, un," And now Deidara wasn't hissing, but growling, his voice vibrating with violence. Sasori took a step back. Deidara reaches out and grabs Sasoris' wrist, a horrible cracking noise following the movement and Deidara knew instantly that there was something wrong with his wrist. He didn't let go. He felt his face twitch because of the pain, and knew that Sasori is watching it, too.

Deidara pushed himself to his feet and took a step closer to him, pulling on his wrist to make sure he will get closer. He grinned, knowing well that while he was standing, his weight and size give him an advantage over Sasori, who, although he has a kind of unnatural strength, lacks possibilities of fighting Deidara off without being prepared for battle.

Sasori was looking up at Deidara now, but still looking down.

"There's no way in hell you could understand, so there's no point in explaining, idiot," he said finally. He could see the muscles in Deidaras' face flex as he growled again, obviously, Sasori hadn't given him the answer he wanted. The face Deidara was making was almost animalistic, wild and angry, and, Sasori noted, untamed. If Deidara had been calm enough to observe himself right then, which he obviously wasn't, he would have been able to see the same kind of instantaneous beauty in his own expression that he so admired in his art.

And Sasori kissed him. Not gently, but so forcefully that it pushed them both to the floor. Deidara bit at Sasoris' lip, scratching at his arms as he tried to pry him off, again. Laughing, Sasori licked up the droplet of blood that had slipped out when Deidara bit him, and kissed him again. Deidara wrenched his face to the side, away from Sasoris' kiss.

"I swear you're deaf, un," Sasori giggled, nuzzling Deidaras' neck with his nose.

"You're mad, un. I asked you to explain, not to..." Deidara was cut short, almost frantically trying to stop Sasori pulling his shirt off, some of the animalism becoming apparent in his behaviour again.

Sasori removed it from his body anyway, leaning in and tracing his fingers over Deidaras' chest. An odd combination of sensations emerged inside Deidara, and all in one movement, he lent upwards to kiss Sasori back, and brought his fist round from beside him, smashing it into Sasoris' side. Sasoris' body collapsed to the side, his arms still clinging onto Deidaras' body. And then Sasori grabbed the arm Deidara had extended to punch him with, apparently having forgotten to bring it back to his side, and twisted it around. Deidara struggled against the hold, pushing at Sasori with his free arm, finally he gave up on that and leant in, sinking his teeth into Sasoris' arm. Sasori let go of Deidaras' arm, swinging his other arm around and hitting Deidara with the back of his hand.

Deidara fell back, whimpering. Sasori took hold of Deidaras' arms, leaning forwards and kissed Deidaras' swelling cheek. Deidara made a sickening noise and tried to kick Sasori.

Sasori put his own knee down over Deidaras legs, and held onto both of his wrists, then pushed his pants down with the hand he had freed. Deidara growled in protest, pulling his wrists free. Sasori looked up in surprise, eyes widening even more as Deidara pined him to the floor. Something in the room crashed to the floor noisily during the movement.

Deidara was breathing heavily, his whole chest rocking with each breath he took. Deidara wanted to kill Sasori, but before he could gain enough self control to do that, he was leaning down and kissing him, and the fingers of one of his hands were pulling at the top of Sasoris' trousers while he kissed him. Deidaras' conscience kicked in and he pounded his fist into Sasoris' coiled stomach.

Sasori tried to catch his breath, a rasping noise echoing from his throat. Deidara had pushed himself away from his partner and started pulling his pants up.

"Deidara," Deidara glanced at his partner quickly, wondering for a moment why his voice was so strained, and then remembering.

"un?"

"I'm going to kill you for that," Sasori hissed at him.

"Wo- oah," Sasori and Deidaras' eyes met for a moment before both of their heads snapped around to face the door.

They both watched in a kind of silent horror as Kisame pushed himself away from the door frame he had been leaning against with his elbow. His blue skin had a slightly purple tinge for a few seconds, before an infuriatingly large grin spread across his face.

"Now _that_ was some action," he drawled, had his voice been physical it would have been dripping with the shiny, blue green-y shade of sarcasm and made of a fiery red substance meant purely to tease.

Sasori threw a kunai at Kisame.

"Hey, no need to get all bitchy about it!" he objected, while shifting so that the kunai missed him and buried itself into the wall behind him, creating a vertical crack down the wall.

"Fuck off, Kisame," Sasori said, somehow still calm, standing up and looking around the room.

Deidara watched him, still confused and just a little overwhelmed by what was going on around him, and copied Sasori, trying to catch onto what his partner was looking at.

'ah' he thought as his eyes stumbled across the room and settled on what had been his bedside table, which turned out to be the cause of the crashing noise he had barely registered earlier.

'So... Kisame came in because of the crash?' Deidara frowned but carried on staring at the table. He couldn't remember what had been standing on it, but there was broken glass scattered across the floor, so he reasoned something made out of glass must have been on it. He had a nagging feeling it was important, but still couldn't remember. A vase? No, there would be no point in a vase without flowers.

'Something else then' he thought to himself.

"Didn't I tell you to fuck off?" Sasoris' voice brought Deidara back to the present situation and he glanced at Kisame, who was still standing in the doorway, and still grinning. Kisame made a dismissive noise,

"Like I care what you tell me to do," he declared, and Deidara decided silently that he was an idiot, if he was winding up Sasori.

"Anyway," Kisames' grin spread further across his face.

"If I, as you say "fuck off" now, I may as well just tell the others about this... little 'incident' He chuckled, Sasori glared at him and Deidaras' eyes nearly fell out.

"You won't," Deidara growled and Sasori stared at him in shock for a moment, before glaring at Kisame again, who laughed.

"Sooo... tell me, why won't I?" Deidara gritted his teeth.

"What do-" Sasori was cut off by a voice that _drifted_ down the corridor.

"Kisame," Deidara shivered, he knew whose voice that was, and he didn't like the prospect of the person it belonged to in his room. He watched the door frame for a moment, waiting for the voices owner to arrive.

_Itachi._

Deidara picked his shirt off the floor and quickly put it on. Itachi himself _flowed_ around the corner just a second later, his face, unlike Kisames', irritatingly blank. 'Absolutely no clues to _his_ thoughts there' Deidara thought.

"Kisame, what's going on here?" Deidara gnashed his teeth at the irritating sounds that Itachis' voice made. Itachis' blank eyes travelled into Deidaras' room.

"Oh," he raised a single eyebrow, still not giving a single thought,

"It was only those two then," Deidara wanted to scream,

'He's just dismissing us like that? Damn that guy, un!'

"Fighting?" Itachi asked as his eyes travelled across exhibit A; broken glass something, exhibit B; Sasori, no shirt, and exhibit C; Deidara, with shirt. And now, Deidara added in his mind, exhibit D; hysterically laughing Kisame.

"Now, if I told yo-arks," Kisame started and stopped speaking, then turned to stare at Sasori. Deidara noticed a senbon sticking out of the back of his spine. Itachi looked at him blankly as Kisame collapsed onto a heap on Deidaras' rooms' floor.

For a second, Deidara thought he saw a little smile on his partners' face, before Sasori crossed the room and left, stopping for a second at the door, next to Itachi, turning to Deidara,

"When you _have_ finally though of something to say that _is_ worth me wasting my time to listen to, I'm in _my_ room," he paused for a moment,

"And next mission, check the board," and then he was gone.

Itachi looked amused for a moment then, after a few minuets, as though he had all the time there was, addressed Deidara,

"I'll leave you to clean this up," he nudged Kisames' form with his toe, then slowly turned to leave as well. Deidara stared at Kisames' form for a moment.

"Sorry, un, I really don't want you here either, un," He said, pulling the senbon from Kisames' back and then pushing him out of the door, consequently slamming it.

He looked at the glass scattered on his bedroom floor carefully.

'What the hell did I break, then?' he asked himself, puzzled.

~nothing will get solved while we pretend to forget.


	11. Chapter 10

SasoDei: Holding Timeboms: 10

Holy chikens! Teh 10 already?

Deidara picked up little shards of glass from the floor, and little droplets of blood soon slid across his fingers. It would have been easy for him to hold them without cutting himself, but he wasn't paying attention to what he was doing.

He sighed.

His mind was, as always, playing him different images of Sasori, over and over, like he was some kind of tape recorder. 'Get out of there, Danna' he told Sasori silently, his mind still buzzing.

It stopped at one particular image. Sasori, on the floor, under him, his face looking both scared and enthralled, a moment before Deidara had hit him. It had also a moment after Deidara had lost his self control and kissed Sasori himself, but Deidara tried to forget that bit.

He dumped the bits of glass onto a piece of paper, which blotched with little, freshly red dots of blood. Folding up the paper a moment later, he dumped in his bin before he left the room.

'Time to check that board' Deidara told himself, walking down the hallway. Sasori was mental, decided, damn it, he was mental, in fact, the whole organization was mental.

But that was what you'd expect, from a bunch of high rank criminals.

The board was always very exact on who was leaving when, and very vague about who was coming back when. Deidara sighed. Another mission, another murder, all the missions they were getting were just about the same, and they were boring for Deidara. They were going to have to leave the next day.

Deidara headed back to his room, slowly, he was going to have to pack. He hated packing, it defied his idea of what a trip should be, which was an adventure. And on an adventure you didn't plan and pack every tiny thing you could possibly ever need, but just stormed off to rescue the princess or whatever, you never had time to pack. Deidara paused for a moment and blushed.

'_Prince_,'

Packing was just as boring as Deidara had expected one bag: clothes, clay and food to back. He had managed it eventually, although he had been distracted several hundred times by tiny fragments of glass on the floor. And each time one of them had cut his or caught his eye by glittering, he had stopped to wonder where the glass had come from. What it had been before. The pain in his shoulder was dull now, ebbing in and out but staying dull. It was nearly healed, Deidara knew.

'I wonder...' he thought quietly, sitting on the floor with his legs crossed.

'If this will all stop once my shoulder is healed,' he closed his eyes.

Something hard hit Deidara.

Something hard, cold and unpleasant.

Deidara groaned and put his arms up to protect his head.

"Un?" he broke his eyes open a little, finding it difficult because of the crusted layer that seemed to have grown on his eyelashes. Pale light filtered onto the floor next to him. Deidara blinked in confusion for a few seconds.

"Morning, un?" he questioned.

'When did I fall asleep?' he asked silently.

"Get up," Deidara remembered the cold, hard thing that had woken him up.

"Danna, un?" he asked blindly, as he was looking at the ceiling.

"Get up," Sasoris' voice growled again and Deidara shifter, rolling himself onto his arms and then pushing himself up, to face his partner.

He just missed the tortured expression Sasori had had on his face, showing every emotion he carried, but should not, and every emotion he had, that no human ever could. But all that Deidara saw was the blank expressionless mask his partner always showed him. Sasori looked at him in disgust.

"Hurry up, we need to leave,"

"Yeah, yeah, un," Deidara sleepily tried to locate some fresh clothes on his room.

"I said, hurry up!" Sasori snapped, and Deidara jumped, dropping the clothes he had just picked up.

"I'd be able to do this a lot faster if you weren't here being an ass, un!" he snapped back, and for a moment Sasori looked startled, but then he turned and strode out of the room, his face completely blank.

Deidara changed his clothes quickly, not bothering to put the old ones away, as he would probably be away for at least a few days and no one else would go into his room when he wasn't there. Though that was more because of the locks and robust door than because of anyone respecting his privacy. Deidara snorted when he thought about what it would be like in the Akatsuki if the members respected each others privacy.

He pulled on his sandals,

"We have to go now you brat," Deidara jumped at the sound of Sasoris' voice, and his hand fell back to catch him, and touched something glossy. He stuffed it in his pocket and grabbed his bag, running out of the door at the same time.

"Good."

It was several hours before they spoke again, as they were travelling and Deidara was confident that if he wasted his energy talking, his partner wouldn't wait for him. Though you can never know. Deidara was walking behind Sasori, who was, as usual, travelling inside Hiroku. They had covered a large distance for the amount of time they had travelled, and Deidara was tired, thirsty and generally worn out. He swallowed nervously, trying to thing of the right words.

"Danna, un?"

"What?"

"I, um, need to stop, un,"

"Why?"

"I just need to, un, I can't go much further, un," he could hear Sasoris' frustrated sigh ahead of him. But for one of these conversations, this had gone quite well. Deidara smiled.

"Just don't waste too much time, you brat," Deidaras' grin widened. He looked around them while they walked a little further.

"Danna, un, how 'bout over there, un?" Deidara asked, spotting something in the distance. Sasori glanced over.

He seemed to scowl, but Deidara couldn't tell, because of Hiroku. The only reply his partner gave Deidara was to turn in the direction he had pointed.

"How long will I have, un?" Deidara asked. Sasori seemed to consider this. Deidara watched as he got out a scroll and studied it. He held it out to Deidara.

"Brat, this is when we need to be there," Sasori pointed to a line on the scroll. Deidara nodded.

"We will not be late," Deidara nodded silently.

"We are almost halfway, and we have another day," Deidara considered this.

They had started quite early, maybe about seven, Deidara glanced at the sky, it was about five now. So they'd been travelling for... ten hours? About another two and they'd be halfway, Deidara reckoned, so it would take another twelve hours. They had thirty one hours

"So... I could have... what, un? A maximum of nineteen hours, un?"

Deidara was pretty sure he could sleep for nineteen hours solid. He was exhausted.

"You have six," well, it was good enough, for now.

"Wow, looks cosy, un," Deidara said sarcastically, viewing their resting place. In Deidaras' opinion, it was a shack. It had obviously once been a fairly small, but solid, wooden building. The wood had tarnished and was a dark, almost green colour. There were thick wooded stutters over tiny little windows that seemed to be held there only by ivy and other forest growths. But it would keep out the cold wind and any other weather that might develop over the next six hours. The disadvantage of that was that no matter what the weather turned into over the next six hours, they would leave in iexactly/i six hours.

Deidara pushed the old, heavy wooden door open with difficulty, and stepped into the musty room behind it. The smell of wood was intoxicating. He could see spiders sculling around and trying to hide from whatever was invading their space, namely Deidara. He smiled at them and moved across the room, dumping his bag. He got up to close the door again, but didn't have to.

"You staying here, un, Danna?" He asked, his voice falting a little from exhaustion. He could just see Sasori nod, and accepted that as an answer.

Deidara lifted something that vaguely resembled a sleeping bag from his stuff and lay it down.

'time to hibernate' he thought as he slid into it. A few moments later he felt a spider crawl slowly across his hand and into his sleeping bag, to share his warmth. He didn't mind. Deidara fell asleep in a few moments, the dark and the wooden smell of the hut lulling him into a fairy-wood sleep.

Sasori crawled out of Hiroku when he was sure Deidara was asleep. He walked over and watched him as he smiled in his sleep. Deidaras' hair spread around him, and there was a tiny spider in it. Sasori didn't even think of moving it. The scene was almost idyllic. The dark floor contrasting Deidaras' skin and hair, the spiders and the cobwebs creating a beautiful, almost gothic atmosphere around Deidara,

Sasori paused in his thoughts for a moment,

Who looked like an angel.

Deidara moved slightly in his sleep, and a spider, probably one of many, scuttled away to hide in a crack of the wall.


	12. Chapter 11

SasoDei: Holding Timebombs: 11

Several hours passed in which Sasori, rather than indulging in his usual activities, such as working on his puppet, let his eyes rest on his partners sleeping form. Deidara moved in his sleep, although not often, but Sasoris' eyes never left him. Sasori was not, and never would be, a person who wasted time easily, especially not for anything as irrelevant as his partners sleep. But today his love of beauty had betrayed him, and once his eyes had fallen on Deidaras' sleeping form, he could no longer force them to look at anything else.

Until, that is, Deidara spoke. Sasori had watched very carefully as his lips had parted, while his eyelids still fluttered slightly, showing Sasori that he was still asleep.

"Sasori," followed by some muffled noises that Sasori could not distinguish, then

"danna," and then a few moments of silence,

"un,".

Deidaras' eyes flickered slightly more violently before, then settled, but staying open.

"Sasori danna, un?" he asked quietly. Sasori ran a finger over his cheek.

"Danna,"

"What, brat?" Deidara smiled, the way Sasori had said it, 'brat' sounded almost endearing.

"Stop it, un" the finger jerked away from his cheek almost instantly, but only for a second, before settling again. At the same time Deidara could see Sasoris' eyes widen just a fraction in surprise. A moment later Sasoris' face was unreadable again; a perfectly emotionless mask.

"You brat," Deidara flinched. Both of Sasoris' hands rested lightly on Deidaras' cheeks, Sasoris' palms soft against his skin. Deidara closed his eyes slowly, trying to avoid his partners' gaze. Sasoris' hands weren't holding Deidaras' face in place and Deidara knew that he could easily move his face away without any effort, and yet he couldn't.

"Do you still, brat?" although Sasoris' voice was gentle, and hardly louder than a whisper, Deidaras' eyes shot open. He knew what his partner was asking him, although he hadn't asked the whole question.

"I..." Deidara hesitated, unsure of his answer.

"I, un, I..." he couldn't speak, and he didn't know what he was trying to say himself, so he fell silent, his eyes resting just below Sasoris' eyes, o he wouldn't have to look into them. Now, Deidara kept his eyes open, and watched Sasoris' mouth form a slight curve as he frowned.

Deidara stared at the same spot for a moment, but Sasori had moved, he had let go of Deidaras' face, stood up, and walked across the hut, opened the door and walked out.

"Sasori, un?" Deidara whispered after him as the door closed.

_Do you still love me?_

Deidara kept his eyes open, letting the dim light of the hut sooth his eyes as he stared upwards.

He lent against the wooden panels of the hut, shoving his hands into his pockets. Deidaras' eyes opened in surprise. He couldn't remember putting anything in his pocket. He frowned and ran his fingers over the mysterious object.

It was thin and felt like paper, only it wasn't quite that thin. It was glossy. After about a minuet Deidara was finally overcome by curiosity and he wrenched the thing out of his pocket. He had been right. It was a smallish rectangle of paper. Or just about paper.

It was a photograph.

Before turning it around to look at the image, Deidara studied the back, thinking. He had a photograph in his pocket, and no idea how it had got there. He ran all the possibilities through his mind, which there weren't a lot of, since the whole of the Akatsuki put together owned about 13 photographs. Still, he couldn't quite place it.

He flipped the paper over in his fingers. And gasped.

_The glass._

'Obvious!' he thought, enraged, and mentally kicked himself. It was so obvious, and yet he hadn't even thought of it.

_The glass!_

You always only understand the clues when you have the answer, Deidara figured, and looked at the photograph again. It wasn't exactly new, but it wasn't old either.

Sasori and him.

It had been framed, and he had kept it on his bedside table; it seemed almost painfully obvious. The photograph had slither like scratches running across it. The glass frame must have broken when the table was pushed over, and the photo slipped away.

Deidara clenched his fingers around the photo, pressing it to his heart. He stared at the door for a while, trying to burn a hole through it, through which he would be able to see. The door creaked and Deidara jumped. A moment passed and he calmed down, just before it was pushed open completely.

His head snapped up to watch the figure walk in. Even though it wasn't very light outside, the dimness inside the hut made it seem so and all Deidara could see was a silhouette, until the door slammed closed behind the figure and he was blinded completely by the contrast of light and dark. Deidara looked around in panic. All he could see were colourful flashed and the outline of the figure that remained stamped into his retinas. He wasn't even sure if it was Sasori who had just come in. Turning his head to the side in an attempt to see Deidara wondered,

'Should I call out? Cause if it's Sasori I must look like an idiot, un' he turned his head in the other direction,

'But if it's not, they might not know I'm here,' He looked straight ahead of him, still unable to see.

'In which case it would be pretty stupid to reveal myself, considering that I can't see,' he shook his head in confusion,

'I don't know what to do, un...'

Deidara moves around a little where he sat on the floor, then stretched both his hands out in front of him. He wasn't trying to feel if there was something there, but simply stretching, trying to make himself use up as much of the space around him as he could.

His hands collide with something.

Deidara pulled his hands back as fast as he could, then swung his head towards the direction he had been stretching them. His eyes were adjusting again and he could just see an outline again. Something human shaped, and close by. Deidara stares.

Then something presses up against him, someone takes his hands in theirs and holds them, tightly, as though he might run away if they let go.

'Sasori danna?' Deidara asks himself silently, but only makes a questioning noise at the person holding his hands.

The only response is heavy, ragged breathing. It's not laboured or full of lust, and Deidara is calmed a little. This breath is simply the breath of someone who has just run for miles and can't get their breath back fast enough. Deidara frowned,

'Who?' He didn't understand. There was no way this was Sasori, was there? After all, what purpose would Sasori have for running? But then again, Deidara didn't understand anything Sasori did lately. But hold his hands? Even of Sasoi had run here to him, he wouldn't just hold his hands would he? Deidara shivered.

The person moved closer to Deidara, resting their head on his shoulder. Deidaras' sight had cleared a little more, and he tried to get a look at them. But he couldn't, their head was already nestled into his neck, and out of his vision. Deidara jolted as he realised something.

His shoulder. This person was leaning their head against the shoulder which wasn't wounded, although from what Deidara could see, it would have been more practical to lean on the other one.

'So, it is Sasori, un?' he asked himself, trying to twist his head to see again. He gasped as a hand touched his chest and moved across it, the fingers grabbing onto the material of his shirt.

"Can't..." Deidara could feel the face move closer to his ear, so that he could hear better.

"Can't..." whoever it was seemed to be having some trouble raising their head enough to reach Deidaras' ear, and the fingers pulled at his shirt more insistently, as it trying to support themselves against Deidara. The voice was too ripped apart by the ragged breaths for Deidara to recognise. He grimaced as the material of his shirt cut down against the wound on his shoulder.

The person seemed to have got far enough up Deidaras' neck to be satisfied he could hear. In fact, Deidara could feel lips brushing slightly against the bottom of his ear. He shivered, but stayed silent. Absolutely silent.

"Can't... wait..."


	13. Chapter 12

SasoDei: Holding Timebombs: 12

Hair tickled Deidaras' face as lips pressed against his, kissing him. He tensed, kissing back out of reflex and then turning his head to the side to avoid the others lips.

"Sasori," he said, out loud.

He was entirely sure it was Sasori. He knew those lips, and how they felt, and they were _his_.

There was no reply, except for a procession of slow kisses on his neck. Deidara raised his arms and held onto Sasori, intent on pushing him away, but instead felt his partners' body shaking, and embraced him, pulling him down against Deidaras' own chest.

"Danna, un," Deidara let his hands drift into Sasoris' red hair forcing it to stick out, and then smoothing it back down again. Sasori didn't move.

"Danna, what's wrong with you, un?" he asked quietly, not sure whether his partner would be offended by the question, or not. In the dim light, Deidara couldn't tell which expression was on Sasoris' face. But it didn't matter, because only seconds later Sasoris' lips were against his again, and this time Sasori was kissing him almost violently, prying his mouth open with his own. Deidara almost squealed at the sudden change. But he noticed that Sasori had stopped shaking.

He tried to move out of the kiss again but found that, this time, he couldn't move. There was a ripping sound, Deidara flinched. He knew where this was going.

"Stop, un!" he tried to say, but in reality, all he succeeded to do was give Sasori better access to his mouth. He could didn't have his shirt on anymore, although he couldn't look to confirm that, and he could feel Sasoris' hands on his chest, tracing out the toning of his chest. And the hands kept on sliding lower. And Sasoris' touch against his skin felt so good that Deidara thought he was burning up; it was torture. He couldn't stand it, didn't want it like this, and yet he couldn't resist.

He could feel Sasoris' hands down his pants now. Could feel the throbbing, ebbing lust in his own body. And he hated it. Sasori was still kissing him, moving to kiss parts of his neck for a few moments, but always returning to kiss his lips again. Deidara shut his eyes. He was trying to move, trying to get Sasori off himself, but he couldn't even move.

His pants were now definitely missing. How much did Sasori still have on? He wasn't sure. Somewhere far off, he thought he could hear Sasori speaking to him, but he couldn't hear the words, as though it were a different language.

Deidara screwed his eyes together tighter and, with difficulty, forced his head back, so that he would have been looking upwards, had his eyes been open. He could hear hot, rasping breaths, and it took him a while to realise they were his own. There were lips against his neck, and he could feel the slight differences in pressure of the individual kisses perfectly, knew exactly where there where trails of saliva on his skin. He could feel it all so perfectly, so clearly. But he couldn't move, not at all, and Sasori just carried on. And on. By now, Deidara knew that Sasori had disposed of his own clothes somewhere along the line, too.

'This is pathetic,' Deidara scolded himself in his head,

'I'm just lying here, like some stupid small furry animal trapped in headlights,' Deidara clenched his teeth.

'Oh god, I am so pathetic...' he didn't want to scream or fight anymore, just wanted it all to stop. He didn't care how anymore. Deidara felt entirely empty, as though someone had taken a box labelled 'Deidara' and emptied its contents onto the floor, then threw the box away. It didn't matter anymore. In short, Deidara lost his fight.

Sasori was still speaking, but Deidara still couldn't hear the words. Pain surged through his body as Sasori entered him, his muscles ripping again. He let his head roll back, albeit rather stiffly, and whimpered, the sound echoing emptily around the room. There were heavy breaths in his ear, words he still couldn't decipher, and then lips against his, again.

Opening his mouth, Deidara found that the only sounds his brain and body together could muster were low, empty sounding moans, that reflected only a physical reflex, rather that any real passion or pleasure. Sasoris' hand was wrapped tightly around him, pumping, and Deidara knew that he should be feeling something more than the physical pleasure. But the feeling seemed to pass straight through him, skipping his brain out entirely, as though Deidara were a separate person to his body. Sasoris' thrusts into him made his entire body jerk and shiver, but he couldn't _feel_ it.

'Ha, Danna, now I know what it feels like not to feel things... funny, un?' he thought, and then his mind seemed to black out, entirely exhausted, although his body still reacted to Sasoris' touch as though he were. Deidara watched as though he were separate from the scene... just... watched...

Deidara shimmered back into his normal mindset to find himself completely exhausted, in pain and still naked. Sasori had his arms around him, and was playing with his hair. As Deidara looked up, he saw a small smile playing across his partners face as he smoothed out little sections of blond hair between his fingers.

Staring, Deidara found he still couldn't speak, although this time, he suspected, it was due entirely to exhaustion. Sasoris' lips were parting and closing, forming a sequence of different shapes. After some time, Deidara realised Sasori was talking.

"D-" he tried.

"D-" he forced his own lips to move.

Sasori stopped moving his lips and looked into Deidaras' eyes, flattening his hair back against his scalp, and brushing some of it out of Deidaras' face.

"Danna..." Sasori seemed to watch him for too long.

"Un," a smile split across Sasoris' face. A tiny, tiny smile, but a smile. Not the weird twisted smile that Deidara had seen before, but a little, gently, almost shy smile.

Deidara stared at him for a long time. While he did, Sasori moved his eyes around him more securely, pulled his head in against his chest, and rocked him back and forth ever so slightly. As Deidara lay there, his eyes began to ebb closed and his mind a little fuzzy. Sasoris' lips were moving. Deidara was starting to wonder, as he drifted between sleep and waking, what Sasori had been saying this whole time. He became dully irritated at his own sudden disability to take in the sounds his partner was making properly.

One of Sasoris' hands moved ad drifted over Deidaras' eyelids, gently closing them for him. Deidara almost-smiled, his lips curling up just ever so slightly at the edges. A little of the block in his ears seemed to clear, and he could hear soft tones in Sasoris' voice.

There were dark swirls on the insides of Deidaras' eyelids. Actually, they were light swirls, on a very dark background. He sighed as his ears cleared a little more. Deidara was confused, as well as half asleep, and was struggling to remember exactly why he was lying here, listening to Sasori si-

Deidaras' eyes flicked open.

Sasori was singing.

His ears hadn't cleared enough for Deidara to understand the words yet but... Sasori was definitely singing. It was some kind of lullaby, from the tune, and it was soft, lulling at Deidaras consciousness as he closed his eyes again.

The singing stopped, and a hand touched his cheek, pushing it gently upwards.

"Deidara," Sasoris' voice said quietly.

He opened his eyes just slightly to look at his partner.

"Deidara, why..." Sasori frowned at him, looking worried.

"Deidara, you're crying," it was true.

Although Deidara tried as hard as he could, he couldn't stop the sobs from wracking his body, making him shake in Sasoris' arms.


	14. Chapter 13

SasoDei: Holding Timebombs: 13

He couldn't stop the sobs wracking his body or move from the spot where he was curled up on the floor, and Deidara felt entirely helpless. He cursed himself, still not able to speak

'Try pathetic and vulnerable' he thought as another sob shook though him.

Feeling the wet tears dripping down his face, Deidara clenched his teeth ad tried desperately to keep his eyes shut. He had to, because if he didn't, he was risking looking at Sasori. Which Deidara reckoned, in his present state, wouldn't have any good outcomes.

As each individual tear rolled down from his eyes, slanting their way across his cheeks sideways and the collecting by the side of his nose, until there were enough there to flow over it and crash onto the rotting wooden floor. Deidara, tired, frustrated, and feeling weaker than ever, took a moment to regret that he was lying on his side, making the annoying build up of tears by the side of his nose possible.

But how could he have known how tears fell? After all he hadn't cried in years, probably in over a decade. He couldn't remember the last time, although he knew he must have still been quite young. That was all before he had learnt what a poker face was, and what you could get away with if you had one. It had been before living on the streets, before the bombings, before the Akatsuki, before all the murders, before all of that. In the end, it had just been a long time ago. It wasn't right for Deidara to cry, wasn't fair. After all the people he had hurt or killed, it wasn't fair for him to cry about something as irrelevant as this. He could always just have gone along with it, because, even after everything, he knew he still loved Sasori.

He knew it, with a sickening certainty that made him feel like gauging his own heart out.

He just _knew_.

"Deidara," Sasoris voice whispered into his ear.

"Be quiet Deidara," curiously, Deidara managed to open his eyes just a little.

"You don't need to cry, Dei, so be quiet," Sasori whispered gently. Deidara realised suddenly just how different Sasoris voice was from usual; he hadn't ordered Deidara to be quiet, he had _suggested_ it.

There were a few things Deidara wanted to do at that particular moment, and being quiet wasn't one of them. But he was. Following Sasori's whispered advice, Deidara put his head down against the floor and kept quiet until the tears stopped flowing down his face. He closed his eyes sleepily, still worn out from the long walk, and worn out more now. As the insides of his eyelids shuttered out the little light that made its way into the hut, a question flickering around his brain snatched for Deidara's attention.

'Why am I fighting this anyway?' Deidara sighed, annoyed with himself. There were so many reasons.

Light guttered through the tiny gap between Deidara's upper and lower eyelids. He groaned. Even when he pressed his eyes together tighter, the light still managed to seep through, painting the insides of his eyelids red. With difficulty, Deidara opened his eyes.

"Get up,"

"Un?"

"Get. Up,"

Deidara whimpered quietly. He was still tired, and really, really sore. His limbs felt like lead as he peeled himself away from the wooden floor he had been lying on.

"Come on, hurry up," there was a long pause in which Deidara shuffled around sleepily stuffing a few of his things back into his bag. He heaved it onto his back, albeit painfully, and staggered towards the door. And walked straight into the door frame.

'Uerch,' Deidara thought as he tried to move again. To add to the list, he couldn't control his limbs properly either, for whichever reason.

"Hurry up," Deidara looked up when he heard his partners voice, wondering just where he was.

Sasori was, in fact, standing just outside the hut, with one foot holding its' door open so that plenty of light could flood in. Deidara scowled, that was a lovely way to wake someone up, flooding them with stupidly bright light after you had left them in near pitch darkness for hours. Just so caring.

Nevertheless, Deidara still trudged slowly behind Sasori as they made their way towards wherever it was they where going. There was pain in nearly every part of Deidaras' body, though some of it was caused by sleeping on a hard wooden floor. The two of them had only just made it back onto the path and Deidara already wanted to stop. Up ahead, he could see his partner stopping every few minuets to wait for him. And Sasori was getting very annoyed about it. Stumbling, Deidara tried to walk faster.

'What's up with my legs not working?' he thought angrily as he nearly fell over for about the fifth time.

'And what was all that stuff before? I could probably drown someone with tears and he'd just get annoyed with me for making him wait,' Deidara growled and aimed a kick at a rock by the roadside. But his legs just slipped out underneath him and Deidara crashed downwards.

Deidara moaned and tried to roll over. He only managed to turn half way before his body collapsed again. At this rate, Sasori was going to just leave him there and do the mission on his own. And, on top of that, probably not come back for him afterwards. Deidara scowled at the dirt in front of him.

There was a tug at the back of Deidaras cloak. A few tugs later and Deidara was standing upright, looking straight into his partners face.

"Un," Deidara let his eyes flit to the side, avoiding Sasoris eyes.

"You are slowing me down so much," Sasori informed him.

"Yeah, I know, un," 'Not much I can do about it though,'

"Come on, we need to get there,"

"How long do we have, un?"

"Twenty three hours," Deidara stared at Sasori for a few moments.

'Wait a moment there. We had thirty one hours, and I was supposed to get six hours to sleep,' Deidara paused for a moment and shot his partner a sideways glance.

"Come on," they were quiet as Deidara took a few tentative steps forwards, Sasoris hand on his shoulder guiding him.

"Brat," Sasori added.

'Thirty one minus six is _not_ twenty three,' Deidara blinked and shook his head as he realised that the steps were becoming less painful.

'It's twenty five,'


	15. Chapter 14

SasoDei: Holding Timebombs: 14

Deidara could feel his shoulders drooping and his head lolled forwards every few seconds. They were nearly there, he knew. Wherever 'there' was, in any case. Deidara hadn't bothered to remember the name of the place they were going, because he knew Sasori would remember it, and there was no way they'd need a backup memory if Sasori forgot. Because Sasori wouldn't, his memories were as eternal as his body supposedly was.

Another hour, one more hour on his feet. Deidara was sure he would die of exhaustion. They had only taken ten hours so far, so they were going to be early. Deidara hated being early, it was just so... un-artistic.

But being early had an advantage: he could sleep off the exhaustion. Behind him, Deidara knew Sasori was having difficulty not just shoving him and storming off in a hurry. If things went Sasoris way, they would have already been there hours ago. But they didn't, so they were still walking. Deidara was happy that Sasori was still walking behind him, although he had stopped supporting Deidaras shoulder hours ago, when he had got used to walking, or used to the pain, even Deidara wasn't sure which.

Deidara shook his head, he was almost sleep walking.

"Keep walking," Deidara started when he registered Sasori talking to him, as though he were waking up. He had no idea what his partner had said, or how long he had been talking. Slowly, he nodded and carried on walking. 'Not much longer now,'

Deidara smiled. There it was again, the feeling of Sasori's hand on his shoulder. It was almost reassuring. There was wind building up around them, but strangely, Deidara could hardly hear it. He turned his head to look at his partner behind him. Deidara stared. 'Again?' he asked himself. Sasori was talking to him. He tried to clear his mind.

"You stupid brat, are you even listening to me?" Deidara frowned, that not being exactly what he had expected to hear.

"Good, you are, now look straight ahead," Deidara did what Sasori told him, grumbling to himself.

'Always giving orders. He can't ask, no way, it has to be an order, un'

He squinted, trying to see if there was anything ahead of them.

There wasn't.

"Danna, un?" he risked a glance at his partner, who was looking at him in an annoyed fashion.

"Deidara, you brat, that," Sasori jabbed at the path in front of them "Is where we are headed, go that?" he snarled.

Deidara gulped nervously and then squinted down the path again.

Maybe there was something there...

It was dark. Deidara blinked, then blinked again. It was too dark. He had no recollection of how it had become so dark. Moving his hands around a little, he tried to figure out what had happened. But in the darkness, even with the tiny tingling sensations that were flitting through his fingertips, Deidara could hardly make out what was around him. He groaned, not sure if the noise was audible.

Then there was a very cold sensation and everything around Deidara snapped into focus.

The first thing he saw was round and orange. Deidara frowned for a moment, wondering what it was. Things behind the round, orange object came into focus. A room, he was in a room. There were hands holding onto the orange thing, so obviously there was a person there, but the orange object itself blocked his view.

Deidara groaned again. It was a bucket. Sasori had just drenched him with ice cold water. Or at least, he assumed it was Sasori, but he couldn't be sure, due to that damned orange bucket. The orange bucket moved, finding its way to the other side of the room, and Deidara's thoughts were confirmed as Sasori drifted back into view.

"Get up," Deidara shivered, cold and wet, and used his arms to pull the rest of his body out of the bed, were it promptly collapsed onto the floor.

Deidara frowned at the carpet. He didn't understand how he had got into a bed. And since when did the Akatsuki rent rooms in hotels that actually had _carpets_? That was just a little over budget for them.

"Now, Deidara," following his orders, Deidara stood up and then, knowing what the next order would be, scrambled around to find something dry to put on.

After a while, he stumbled back to where Sasori was waiting, fully dressed, dry and awake.

"So, what's going on, Sasori no Danna, un?" He asked, his voice sounding soft and confused.

"We going on that mission now, un?"

"No,"

"No, un?" Deidara almost whined, confusing him in the morning was not a good idea.

"What then, un?"

"We're heading back,"

"What, un? What about the mission?"

"It's done,"

"You what, un? Without me, un?" Sasori shrugged, and turned to face the door of the small room they were in, opening it.

"Danna, un?"

"Yes?"

"Tell me what's going on, un!"

"No,"

"Why not, un?" Deidara pouted as he followed Sasori out the door.

"That would be a waste of time, it is done, and that's all. Pick up your stuff," still pouting, Deidara backed into the room and grabbed his bag, which hadn't been unpacked. Then he rushed back out the door and ran after his partner, who Deidara already knew hadn't waited and was, by now, at least outside the hotel.

They were walking, again. Deidara was sick of walking. He'd done nothing but walk for days. And he hadn't even got to do the interesting part of the mission. And even more annoyingly, he hadn't even been able to get his partner to tell him why not. In fact, he hadn't got his partner to tell him anything for the last day and a half. They were still on their way back from the mission, but as they had no specified time to get back, they were going slightly slower. Slightly being the most important word in that sentence. Sasori still hated waiting, and walking apparently took too long.

"Danna, un," Deidara tried for what, by now, must have been the hundredth time. And for what must have been the equally hundredth time, he received no reply.

"Danna, un!" Deidara called, louder this time, and agitated, he was getting frustrated.

"I want to know why you didn't wake me up for that mission! We're a team, un, so we should have done it together, un!" he shouted at his partner, who still walked, silently, ahead of him.

"Sasori no Danna, un!" he shouted again, now trying desperately to get his partner to stop.

"Why didn't you wake me up, un?" Sasoris feet started to slow down, so that, several metres ahead of Deidara, he finally came to a stop. His head was bowed downwards and he wasn't facing Deidara, so that he couldn't see Sasoris expression.

Deidara ran forwards.

"Danna, un! Tell me why you-"

"Shut up!" Sasoris voice snarled, although Deidara couldn't see his lips form the words. And those words were said with such aggression that Deidara stopped in his tracks and almost fell, stumbling on the rough path they were following.

Deidara watches, silent for once, as his partner clenches his delicate hands into fists and then, very slowly, turned around. Deidara frowned. He had expected his partner to be angry, but his face was composed with that absolutely perfect expressionlessness that it held so often. It made Deidara want to scream, seeing his partner face him with that expression. Was he not special? After what his _asshole_ of a partner had done, was he _not special_? He ground his teeth and faced Sasori.

"Tell me why you didn't let me do that mission, Danna," Sasori didn't answer at first, and the silence hung heavily between them.

"You were too tired, Deidara. You would simply have been another object getting in the way of the mission, so I didn't want you there,"

'What?' Deidara thought, getting more annoyed. He had done missions in much worse conditions than just being tired and had still succeeded, so he didn't think that the answer Sasori had just given him was valid.

"Now come, we can get further than this before night comes," Deidara followed.

"I will follow your orders forever, Danna," he whispered to the wind, now cool, indicating that the night was setting in. Deidara closed his eyes for a few moments while he walked.

'When will you understand?' he wondered. Deidara spread his arms, catching the cool wind. He opened his eyes, and his vision focuses in and out for a few moments, before the details of the world around in crashed in on Deidara. Every time he opened his eyes, it astounded him how the details of leaves and the sky would jump out at him.

He could see the strands of Sasoris hair catch and flutter in the wind. Deidara stretched his arms, then reached out to a nearby leaf and snatched it away from its branch, examining it for a few moments while he walked. As he looked up again, he realised that Sasori had come to a halt in front of him.

"Brat, you rest now," he told Deidara as he stalked to the edges of the path. When Deidara was lying facing the sky, he let his eyes drift closed. He clenched his fist, then brought his hand to his face, inhaling the scent of the leaf he had carried. A white butterfly landed on the back of his hand for a second, before it fluttered and took off into the cold air again.

"Danna, un?"

"hn,"

"I understand,"


	16. Chapter 15

SasoDei: Holding Timebombs: 15

Deidara awoke to a muffled sound of feet shuffling around. Slowly, he pressed the covers away from his face and peered around the room. His eyes fell on the clock that was on the floor next to his bed, his bedside table being broken and still not replaced. It was six in the morning, and far too early to be up. He groaned and scanned the room again.

"What the hell, un?" he asked, his voice sounded sleepy and muffled, because he had still not pushed his covers down any further than his eyes.

"You know Deidara..."

"Konan, un? Seriously, un, I need some sleep here, un. We only got back at some stupid time last night, un," 'and Danna wouldn't let me fly...' he added mentally.

"Yeah, sure, anyway, what was I saying?"

"What are you doing in here at all, un?"

"Just saying hi, I mean, you've been gone for a while..."

"Un," Deidara sat up and rubbed his eyes, locating Konan at the other end of his room.

"What's that supposed to mean, Deidara?" She asked, flashing him a look.

"Well, you- Hey, get out of my bag, un!" He glared at Konan, but didn't move. Upsetting Konan was... risky to say the least.

"Oh! Exactly, considering that you're an artist, you don't have anything interesting at all in here," She pouted, and started to go through another section of the bag Deidara had used to carry his things in for the last mission.

"Interesting things are heavy, un, and walking with heavy things would be stupid, so I don't, un," he told her blankly, wondering what kind of 'interesting' things Konan was expecting to find.

"So how was the mission?" Konan asked, still not looking up from Deidaras bag. Deidara paused, not sure of what to say, if he said he didn't actually know, he and Sasori would probably both get some form of punishment from the leader.

"It went fine, un," he said, hoping the vagueness of the statement wouldn't make Konan suspicious. After all, she was still the closest to leader. He needn't have worried, because Konan was already distracted.

"Bingo!" she said suddenly, turning to Deidara and grinning.

"What's this then?" Deidara's face fell.

The photograph.

Deidara clenched his teeth.

"Konan, un," he said pleadingly, hoping she would understand. She smiled while looking at the picture. Holding it up threateningly, she looked straight at Deidara.

"So now, tell me what's been going on," she said, watching as Deidara shook his head. He sighed, watching his hands fold into each other on his lap.

"Konan, un, I really don't want to tell you, un"

"Tell," Deidara shut his eyes. He couldn't. He was an S class criminal, and these things didn't happen to S class criminals. It was too embarrassing, too degrading, to tell anyone about, let alone someone who knew him.

The mattress shifted as it was pressed down beside Deidara. Something soft touched his hands, then held onto them, stopping the nervous movements he was making. Deidara looked up at Konan, measuring out the look on her face, wondering what she wanted to hear, and why. But most of all, Deidara was trying to figure out whether it was safe to tell her, if anyone.

Closing his eyes again, Deidara moved his head so that he wasn't facing Konan anymore, then slowly pulled one of his hands from her grasp.

"... Danna, well, un," he paused for a few moments, then touched his lips with his free hand. Opening his eyes, he stared at the floor, trailing his fingers down his neck slowly. He swallowed nervously, feeling Konan's gaze, without looking. He splayed his fingers across his chest, then nervously moving them lower, across his stomach and finally stroking his fingers across the top of his trousers, narrowing his eyes at the floor as he felt his head start to hurt.

Konan took his hand back into hers. She shook her head slowly, and then put his hands down beside him, so that they rested on the mattress.

"It's okay, Deidara," she said carefully, not sure whether to press him further or not. Then Deidara started talking.

Deidara bit his lip, he still wasn't sure whether he could trust Konan, or whether telling her would make anything better, if not worse. He had finished talking about ten minuets ago, and she was still silent. Suddenly Konan put her head in her hands, and started to shake just a little. Deidara stared for a few moments before he could comprehend her behaviour. He jumped back off the bed and away from Konan.

She was _laughing_.

His breath catching in his throat, he watched Konan for a little longer. He blue hair swaying around her face, she looked up at him, clasping her hand over her mouth as she let a giggle slip, and then smiled at him. It was a friendly smile.

"You," she started, "are both complete idiots,"

"What, un?" Deidara asked, puzzled, and the look of utter confusion on his face set Konan into another fit of giggles.

Recovering slowly and taking deep breaths, Konan looked at Deidara seriously.

"Remember what I said last time we talked?"

"Un?"

"I think it was something like that Sasori doesn't understand how he can hold onto something fleeting?" Deidara stared at her, still puzzled, and then shook his head.

Konan laughed again. She reached out and put her hand to Deidara's cheek.

"Think about it," she smiled sweetly,

"Why do you think he did that, Deidara? If that had been you, why do you think you would have done that?" Deidara opened his mouth to say something, but Konan cut him off,

"I know you wouldn't, but if you had, Deidara, why?"

Deidara stared at the ground between them for a long time, considering eternity. He bit his lip.

"I think..."

"Yes?"

"I think I'd have to be really, I mean really, desperate, un" he paused for a moment, apparently still thinking.

"Lonely, un... and," he looked up at Konan, and them past her.

"And I'd have to be really scared that they'd leave me, un,"

Konan grinned and patted Deidara on the head.

"Good boy," Deidara growled in response.

"You think about what that means now, blondie, and I'm gonna go find something else interesting to do," she swept through the door with a little wave.

Deidara stared after her for a while. The whole room seemed too silent now that no one was talking, and the clicking of the little clock beside Deidara's bed seemed to fill the room as he thought about what he had just said. He let his head roll back so that he could see that little clock.

'No way,' he thought, almost grinning to himself. It was ten past nine. They had talked for over three hours. Deidara scanned around the room and walked over to the corner in which he had first spotted Konan. Bending down, he picked up a small, rectangular photograph from the ground.

He let his fingers drift across it, tracing out the shape of Sasoris face against its surface. He smiled, watching Sasori's motionless face. Photographs weren't really his thing. They captured a single moment and preserved it forever.

No, photographs were not something Deidara was into.

Yet he had a nagging feeling that his partner might want to keep it.

Forever, in fact.

Deidara stood up, putting the photograph down on his bed. He touched his neck, where Sasori had bitten him, forcing him to confess his feelings for him. He smiled before letting his hand fall to his side.

_Desperate_.

Deidara wrenched the door to his room open, almost pulling it off its hinges, then skidded round the corner, almost pulling his partners door off its hinges, too.

"Danna!" he called, but got no reply.

He fumbled around, found the light switch and confirmed that the room was empty. Slamming the door again, he hurtled himself down the corridor again, and into the main room of the base.

"Danna, un!" he called, running across the span of the entire room, before coming to a halt in the kitchen area, where he stopped for a moment, catching his breath.

He was being stared at. But only by Kisame and Itachi, who were sitting against a wall, apparently playing a board game.

"Sasaor-san is not here,"

"Yeah, un, I can see that now, un," he snapped at Itachi, and grinned as he raised an eyebrow before returning to his game.

"Have you seen him, un?"

"Yeah," Kisame called out, a little to load, when he looked up from the board.

"Cellar,"

"Thanks, un!" Deidara shouted, and was already halfway out the door before Kisame replied, also shouting.

"Good luck kid,"

Deidara almost fell down the stairs, and opened the door by crashing into it. Looking up from where he had landed on the floor, he could see Sasori, also sitting on the floor, his back still turned to where Deidara was sitting.

"Sasori danna, un," Deidara whispered breathlessly into the darkness of the room, hoping his voice would carry across to Sasori.


	17. Chapter 16

SasoDei: Holding Timebombs: 16

"Danna, un," Deidara whispered again, louder this time. In front of him, Sasori slowly put something down on the floor, which Deidara presumed was a puppet. Very slowly, Sasori got to his feet and turned around to face Deidara. Once he was facing Deidara, he leaned back against the wall, and let their eyes meet. Deidara stared up at him from where he sat on the floor, and then he crawled over, not bothering to stand up, so that he was close enough to Sasori, that had he reached out his fingertips would have just touched the fabric of his trousers.

"Deidara," Sasoris voice rang out across the room, sounding forced and tense.

"Danna, un" Deidara started, kneeling down where he was,

"I...," His jaw clenched, he hadn't thought this far yet. He hadn't really trusted himself to be brave enough to do this, so he hadn't found the words he wanted, needed, but most problematic of all, he didn't really know what he wanted to say.

"I want to give myself to you, un," the words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them, and he let his eyes fall to the floor. Then, slowly, hesitating, he pressed his forehead to the ground in front of him, as though he were carrying out a holy ritual. Not the same kind of ritual that Hidan carried out, displaying the superiority of his own religion over others, but one that was carried out in silence and hope, stretched over months, looking for diving intervention.

"I _want_ to belong to you Danna, and stay with you, un, whether fleetingly or eternally. Because I love you. Because living without you is too hard, Danna, un. And because I know that you need me too, but I understand that you can't admit that. I know that you want to protect me, although you know that I don't need protecting, un, and that you want to be close to me, although you claim you don't have feelings, and it would hurt the wall you've built up around yourself to admit that you do. Because I can see that being alone hurts you too, un... But most of all Danna, un, I just want to be with you, and not see you hurt anymore, un,"

Deidara sat up, and then raised his eyes to look at Sasori, ad to make sure that he heard every word.

"So... I'll give myself to you, un. Please, accept this Sasori no danna, and do what you want, un. I don't care, so long as I can be with you. Because I love you, un,"

Silently, Deidara stared up at Sasori, and watched his eyes, as they widened and narrowed, giving away emotions below the surface, and as he watchws, Deidara had to smile. Somewhere he could hear a dripping noise and he counted the drips while he waited for an answer.

Fourteen.

Twenty-two.

"Danna, un?" why was this taking so long? Deidara shook his head, suddenly worried, why was Sasori making him _wait_? Sasori and waiting did not go together. He tried to make out more details in the dark. He had been so sure... but what if he, and Konan, had been wrong? What if...

Thirty-eight.

Deidara bit his lip, knowing that, if Sasori could see his face, it was giving him away. He frowned, Sasori seemed to be leaning more heavily on the wall now...

"That wasn't an offer, was it, Deidara?"

"Un?" he was panicking now, and he could feel his hands ball themselves into fists, where the tongues embedded in his palms ran over his fingers and the spit mingled with the sweat forming on his palms.

"It wasn't an offer. Even if I were to say no now, you would not retract your offer as a result. You..."

Fifty-one.

"...are so..."

Deidara frowned, he didn't quite see what his partner meant, but stayed still, listening.

"...stubborn," Sasori concluded, slipping to his knees, too, so that his face was level with Deidara's, though still an arms lengths away. He reached out and the tips of his fingers just brushed across Deidara's forehead.

"I doubt that you don't care Deidara, because I don't think there is anything that you could ever not care about," his fingers slid down Deidaras forehead as he talked and eventually rested on the tip of his nose.

"But if you don't," Sasoris face seemed to set, and his voice became quiet and low, as though it were difficult for him to pronounce the words.

"Then stay with me forever, Deidara," his breaths became shallow and fast, and he seemed to have trouble sitting up straight as he let his fingers drop away from the tip of Deidara's nose and onto his lips.

"Then I'm yours, un," Deidara could feel a huge grin trying to take hold of his face, but forced it down.

"Promise me..." they stared at each other for a moment,

"...forever,"

"As long as you want me, un," the grin broke onto his face as he spoke, and Sasori's fingers seemed to shiver, before falling to the floor.

"Danna..." Sasori gave a tiny nod, that Deidara only just saw,

"You don't need to wait, un" nervously, but keeping his eyes locked with Sasori's, Deidara unclenched is fists and pulled his shirt over his head, letting it land on the floor beside him. The action was slow, because Deidara's fingers, hands, and arms were shaking. He smiled slightly, before raising his hand to his head, and starting to untie the red cloth that held his hair in place.

"I'm yours, un" he whispered again as his hair fell down around his face. Deidara could see Sasori watching and for once his eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly parted, completely entranced. Deidara smiled slightly, running one hand through a strand of his own hair.

"Take anything you want, un," he said finally, but it came out as nothing more than a few whispered syllables.

"Dei..."

"_Danna_,"

"Deidara," arms clamped around him, so tight that Deidara had to gasp breaths, afraid that if he didn't he would suffocate. So close to him that Deidara could barely tell the difference between the two of them. Sasori pulled Deidara closer against him, and let his head drop onto Deidara's shoulder. Then there was a slight shaking feeling, and Deidara frowned. Sasori rolled his head back so the Deidara could see his face, and for a moment, Deidara thought he would suffocate again. Sasori smiled up at him, the slight shaking sensation caused by a little, nervous laugh that was escaping from him.

Chewing his lip, Deidara could feel his face heating up as he watched Sasori. It was the kind of nervous laugh that you caught, almost as though it was contagious, when you were given something that you wanted beyond your own being, yet had thought you never had any hope of obtaining.

Deidara grinned and let himself fall backwards, pulling Sasori with him, and somewhere in the muddle between the two, where neither was sure which was which, their lips met and they lay there, on the cold floor, kissing. Eventually, Sasori sat up, almost shyly observing as Deidara pulled his shirt away from his body, too.

"Danna, un," Deidara whispered between kisses, grinning when Sasori moved to kiss his neck, leaving his skin damp.

"I love you, un," Sasori placed kiss after kiss at the base of his neck.

"I love you, un, I love you... I love you, un," the kisses halted for a moment, and Sasori flashed Deidara a small smile, before leaning in to the bite mark on Deidaras shoulder and kissing each tiny mark, now nearly as faint as tiny bruises, made by his teeth.

"I love... you, un," he managed to say as Sasori's hands moved over his chest and sides, and he wrapped his own arms around Sasori, pulling him into another kiss.

Between more kisses, Deidara somehow managed to realise he had lost track of exactly where Sasoris hands were.

"love you, un," he whispered again, his voice now almost a breathy moan as he let Sasori kiss him again, and located his hands at the same time.

"Deidara," a kiss was planted just below his ear,

"I love you very much too," more kisses were placed on the same spot, and Deidara gasped,

"Now will you please shut the hell up?" Deidara giggled and lent to the side, nudging Sasoris face with his nose, before Sasori moved away and started to place kisses on his chest.

Vaguely, Deidara became aware that his trousers, and boxers, were already halfway down his legs, and seemed to be being guided down them so slowly and gently that Deidara had barely noticed. He ran his fingers down Sasori's back and pulled his down too, albeit with much less skill. Deidara could feel heat radiating from both their bodies, and it seemed to somehow block out the room around them. Sasori moved to kiss him and for a moment Deidara grinned, then suddenly gasped out in surprise, and pain, letting his head roll backwards as he broke the kiss and a line of saliva was left on his chin. His hands clenched onto Sasoris back, who hissed as the mouths there bit into his skin.

The movements continued and Deidara smiled, letting himself fall into them.

"I need you,"


	18. Chapter 17

SasoDei: Holding Timebombs: 17

"Issit morning yet, un, Danna?" Deidara asked groggily, not properly awake yet. Sasori glanced at him wearily, and then moved to a small box near them. Deidara shivered.

"Come back, un, it's cold, un," he said when Sasori was about a metre away from him. Glancing over again, Sasori shook his head. As Deidara watched him, he pulled something out of the box and stared at it for a few moments.

"Yes, Deidara. It is morning, in fact, it's already past seven and we need to get back upstairs to check if leader has put up any new missions for us," he paused for a moment and Deidara frowned.

"Who cares, un? Come back over here, I'm cold un,"

"I care, and for your information, I'm over here because this is where the clock is," he dropped the object, the clock, back into the box before continuing,

"And I am where the clock is because you asked what time it was,"

"Oh, un," Deidara laughed, embarrassed, and averted his eyes to the floor for a moment. A moment later, arms grabbed him from behind and pulled him upwards.

"Wha-?"

"I did tell you we needed to get upstairs," Sasori said, rather too calmly, as he started to pull Deidara towards the doorway.

"Hey, un, Danna?"

"What?"

"Can I, uhhh, un," Deidara looked around rather nervously,

"Get my clothes on first, un?" the impact of the stone floor was rather unpleasant, but altogether, in Deidara's opinion, probably more enjoyable than being dragged in front of the rest of the Akatsuki naked.

Rolling onto his back, Deidara stared up at his partner for a moment, who actually looked rather flustered. How he had managed to forget that _neither_ of them had any clothes on, Deidara found impossible to figure out. Yet, what seemed _funniest_ to Deidara at that particular moment, was that Sasori still didn't seem to have noticed his own lack of clothes. Deidara suppressed a laugh.

"You might want to, too, un," he said, grinning as he watched Sasori's expression change difficultly, and appropriately to the comment. Still lying on his back, he continued to watch as Sasori moved around the room and picked a few things off the floor, before throwing half of them down at Deidara, looking rather nervous.

Deidara groaned slightly as he started walking up the stairs. Sleeping on a cold cement floor was not a good idea, or at all comfortable. All his limbs were stiff and ached. Again. Sasori, who was a few steps above him, suddenly stopped.

"Un?" Deidara questioned as Sasori turned around.

"Just..." Sasori shit a look behind him, at the corridor, which was, thankfully, both dark and empty.

"Before we go out there," he lent down and gently pressed his lips against Deidara's.

It seemed as though neither Itachi nor Kisame had moved since Deidara had last been in the main room, as both still sat at the little table to one side, apparently playing a board game. Although on closer inspection, Deidara realised it was a different game to the one they had been playing the day before. And it also appeared that Kakuzu and Hidan had at some point returned to the base as, although neither of them were anywhere to be seen in the main room, there was obviously a loud, and rather aggressive, argument being held somewhere within the grounds. Still walking slightly behind Sasori, Deidara looked around the room. It did seem that there had been some changes since the night before. The first of these changes being that Deidara could detect some traces in the kitchen area which indicated towards it having been raided rather recently. This, he suspected, was probably due to Kakuzu, and particularly, Hidans return. Grovelling, Deidara moved away from Sasori and started to make his way towards the kitchen area, sure that something would have been left over.

While shovelling empty packets around, Deidara watched Sasori from behind the cover of the cupboard. His partner seemed to be keeping his face perfectly emotionless, and then turned to join Itachi and Kisame while they played whatever game they were now occupied with. Deidara himself knew that there was no real point in observing the outcome. Itachi always won. It didn't mean that Kisame was stupid, but simply that Itachi was _more_ intelligent. And that he could predict his opponents moves, which may have come to be a skill which was slightly useful. Scowling at the thought, Deidara finally shoved his hand into a packet of apparently untouched cereal that he had found in one cupboard.

Cereal packet still in hand, Deidara wondered over to join them. Whatever the game was, it looked boring. Deidara glanced at Sasori sideways, noting that he didn't seem too taken in by the game, either.

Just then, between what appeared to be one of Kisame's last turns and the beginning of one of Itachi's, Kisame looked up and grinned at Deidara.

"So how'd it go, kid?" Deidara stared at Kisame for a moment, understanding the question fully, and then glanced at Sasori, standing next to him, again, hoping that he would be able to read his partners face, and hoping, more strongly, that he hadn't understood. Sasori wouldn't be happy.

Sasori was frowning. After a moment of drawn out silence, in which Itachi was, unnoticed by Kisame, moving several figures around on the board, probably to inflict his victorious attack, Kisame shifted in his chair so that he was facing Deidara and Sasori properly, and focused his grin on Sasori.

"So?" he asked slowly.

"So, what?" Sasori spat back at him, clearly uncomfortable.

"So, is he good?" Kisame said rather blandly, gesturing with his hand towards Deidara.

The table hit the floor in two and the door slammed, while Deidara stood, rather dazed, next to Itachi, who was observing the broken board that now lay on the floor amongst the rubble which had, a few seconds before hand, been the table with a mild interest that suggested he expected someone to pick it up for him, and a hysterically laughing Kisame,.

It hadn't actually been his fault that Kisame knew about it, but both of theirs, so Deidara himself was rather annoyed at his partner. Deidara ran after Sasori.

"Sasori, un!" he shouted, punching his fists into his partners' door, rather than knocking. There was no reply.

"Sasori, un!" he tried again, and, this time, was rewarded with a slight clicking noise. It took Deidara a few moments to register the source of the noise. He opened the door with too much force and catapulted in, locating Sasori in an instant, and throwing himself at him.

"Come on, un," he said. There was a long silence.

"Come on, what?"

"Come on, because it's not my fault and you know it, un" Sasori scowled, and pushed Deidaras' body a little away from his. Deidara backed off a little, and sat down on the floor of his partners' room. A few steps away from him, Sasori still stood, staring down at the floor, and frowning deeply, taking a moment before he brought his hands to his face and buried it in them.

"Danna, un?" Deidara asked, puzzled by Sasoris' actions.

"I don't understand this..." Sasori whispered into his hands, which muffled the sounds so that Deidara could barely understand the words.

"Danna, un?" Sasoris' head snapped around and he watched Deidara silently for a few moments.

"Shut up,"

"Danna,"

"It _is_ your fault,"

"That's bullshit, un,"

"Shut up," Deidara stared at Sasori for a few moments.

"Stop it, Danna. I thought we had sorted this out, un. I don't _care_ about any of that stuff, I care about you, un" the words seemed to hang in the air between them for too long. Eventually, after what seemed to Deidara to be years, Sasori slowly sat down opposite Deidara so that they were on the same level. Deidara could see straight into Sasoris' eyes, and somehow, it scared him. His partners eyes were usually emotionless, but now they were blazing with hundreds of different emotions that even Deidara couldn't recognise. After a while, Sasori lent forward, resting his weight onto his arms, so that he could pull himself forwards slightly, towards Deidara.

His hand reached out so that his palm rested against Deidaras' cheek. Sasori gently pressed against Deidaras' face, so that he had to lower his head, and then lent forward, and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"I love you," he whispered, resting his chin on top of Deidaras head.

"So stay away from me,"

"What, un?" Deidara asked, panicking, and trying to move so that he could look upwards to see Sasoris' face.

"You heard Deidara," Sasori said calmly, keeping his chin on top of Deidaras' head and moving both his hands to the sides of Deidaras' face, making sure he couldn't look up and see the expression on Sasoris' face.

"I love you, but I don't want you. Stay away from me,"


	19. Chapter 18

SasoDei: Holding Timebombs: 18: End

Deidara stood, slightly hunched over, in a clearing he had reached. His breaths were heavy and rough, he gasped heavily with each one. If the sky had been alive, it would have shrunk away from the glare Deidara gave it, his face distorting. Manically.

He slid to his knees, lacking the energy to stop the weight of the rest of his body dragging him down. He must have been miles from the Akastuki base. But he had no idea of where or how far he had gone. It didn't matter now, and never would do. Deidara clenched his teeth, eyes still set on the sky.

He couldn't believe it.

"Bastard," he muttered, his voice full of spite.

"You fucking bastard," he growls again, only louder this time, but still addressing the sky. Slowly, his hands moved upwards, shaking, and clutched at the collar or his shirt, crumpling the material. He could still hear Sasori's voice in his head, and it was spinning around, making him feel dizzy and sick.

i"I don't want you"/i

Deidara clutched at his head, still on his knees.

"You don't want me, un?" he hissed, threateningly at the sky.

"You think you can just fucking say that, un?" his voice became louder still, and his tone rougher and less hurt, the last syllable sounding like a challenge.

"You want me to stay away, un?" and with that, he grinned, lent down and pressed his forehead against the ground. As the sweet smell of fresh earth registered, his brain started to clear.

"Okay, un," he whispered quietly, as though speaking to the ground, "Okay, I'll stay away from you, un," Deidara smiled.

"I'll stay away, but I'll show you, un," pushing himself away from the ground, he sat up, looking around, and smiling gently. This place was good.

_"Stay away from me,"_

Deidara shook his head. Sasori was going to regret that. He couldn't get distracted now. Not by the way he had heard Sasori's voice shake, and not by the way he had sounded _regretful_. It had hurt like a knife being pushed straight through him, and for a moment, while thinking about it, Deidara pressed his fingers against the material of his top over his heart. He had just bolted. As soon as Sasori had said those words he had been running out of the Akatsuki base. He hadn't paid attention to where he had been going. Thinking back no, Deidara guessed that was probably a good thing. If he had paid attention, he would have gone somewhere he knew, and they would have found him easily. But this way, Deidara had space to play.

For the first time since arriving, Deidara took a look at his surroundings. It truly was perfect; he stood in an oval shaped clearing that crowned a hilltop, from which he could see the surrounding area. Deidara smiled happily.

His fingers lingered on the ground for a moment, before he moved them up to his hips, touching the pouches that were attached to his trousers there. It was lucky that he always had them with him. He slipped his fingers inside, running them over the surface of the clay; hard enough not to shift at his touch, and soft enough to be moulded.

Deidara grinned,

"I'll show you, Sasori, un," he whispered as he slipped his fingers under his shirt, and started to pull it upwards. Another tug and it was over his head, his hair falling back into place after it. The shirt fell onto the floor beside him, and Deidara walked away from it. When he was about three metres away he stopped and sat down, taking out some clay, and moulding it into a small sculpture. He made another four, and placed each one about three metres away from where his shirt lay, in different directions.

Deidara sat down next to his shirt again, and reached into a different pouch, bringing out a sharp edged kunai. Holding it in front of himself, he watched as the blade caught the sunlight, and every few seconds, created a miniature and unique rainbow. He smiled.

"This is going to be awesome, un," and with that, he aimed the blade at his chest. Dozens of little stitches sprang open, and Deidara flinched slightly at the force with which his fourth mouth opened, nearly knocking him over. He had forgotten just how powerful it was. Deidara glanced at the sky quickly, and frowned. There were coarse, grey clouds at horizon. He wasn't sure he liked that. If the sun were shining to brightly, it wouldn't be so good, but if it rained...

There was another lurch from his fourth mouth, as it searched desperately for something to bite onto, and Deidara was shaken out of his thoughts. Again, he smiled to himself in a contented way, before opening up the pouches again and lifting up as much of the damp clay as he could. His fourth tongue seemed to sense this, and exerted itself more, as though it were going to rip itself out of his chest. Slightly in pain, Deidara shut his eyes.

He was going to show Sasori what art was, ionce and for all/i.

His hands trembled as Deidara held the clay closer to his chest, and his tongue stretched out to greet it, wrapping around it, and leaving trails of saliva running down Deidaras stomach and arms.

Almost immediately, he felt the change, his body incorporating the clay into it's own structure. It was a wonderful sensation, as though his insides were being coated in firm, cool, damp clay, relaxing his muscles and cooling his nerves. Everything seemed to slow down. Deidara put his head in his hands and giggled.

"Deidara,"

He froze. There was no way...

"Dei-," Deidara turned around.

"-dara," Sasori called, his breath still heavy from having followed Deidara.

"No, un" Deidara said, and shook his head.

"No, you're not messing this up, un. You said I should stay away and I will, un. So just get the hell out of here," Sasori stared at him. This wasn't the reaction he had expected. In fact, he hadn't expected any of it, least of all to actually find Deidara on his own, laughing to himself as though there had never been anything wrong in the world.

"Deidara," Sasori looked around slowly, "Deidara, what the hell are you doing?"

Deidara clenched his teeth, then smiled.

"Something really, really cool, un," he grinned, and Sasori frowned. But the grin ebbed away as he felt another pleasantly cool sensation run through his body. It was the sensation indicating that the clay was becoming evident on the outside of his body, too. His fourth tongue lolled happily.

"Don't do this," Deidara laughed.

"I want to, un. It's all I've got left, and you're not messing it up, un," He grinned again. Sasori's eyes fixed on the ground in front of him. 'Serves him right, anyway,' Deidara thought as he watched his partner, 'Did he really think he could just throw me away like that, and still expect me to stick around?' He was only halfway aware that he was watching Sasori walk towards him, until Deidara felt his partners arms around him.

"Danna, un?" No reply. After a few moments, Deidara tried again.

"Danna, let go, un,"

"No," Deidara stared.

"Let go, Danna! You're messing it up, un!"

"Don't go, Deidara," Sasori said quietly, turning so that he was looking straight at Deidara, who stared at him in disbelief. The delicate structure of Sasori's face had changed, showing, for once, amazingly, some combination of emotions that Deidara had never seen even one of on his partners face.

"Don't go. Please, just don't. I... I'm sorry. I... Deidara. Just don't leave me," his arms tightened around Deidara. Gasping, Deidara tried to loosen it a little, so that he could breathe again.

"Danna, calm down, un!" Sasori stared at Deidara sadly.

"It's irreversible, I know," Deidara nodded, and Sasori looked down again, resting his head on Deidara's shoulder.

"This is confusing," Sasori said, and Deidara watched, not quite sure what his partner meant, as Sasori slipped one of his arms away from Deidara's body and placed his hand where Deidara knew his heart was. He looked at Deidara again.

"I don't understand this. I don't, I'm sorry. It just hurts... Damn it, Deidara? You know what art is?"

"Fleeting, un,"

"Wrong, it's eternal," Deidara was about to protest when Sasori continued.

"Art is the ideal that our minds create. And for me, that makes it eternal, because everything that is fleeting is painful for me. Art can be heartbreaking, Deidara, but not painful. I love you, Deidara. But it hurts. Because I know that you're not like me, because you believe that things are only art when they're fleeting, and because eternity hurts you," each one of Sasoris words came out slowly and quietly, as though they themselves refused to be said. Deidaras body slipped to the ground again, taking Sasori with him.

"I was so scared, Deidara," Sasori whispered eventually, pulling Deidara closer before he continued.

"I know... I knew that I was hurting you, Deidara," his grip on Deidara tightened again as he spoke. "But I didn't know what to do. I don't understand this, and you're so fucking unpredictable. I never knew if you were going to stick around or just blow yourself up, and I needed you. I was so scared you'd leave," Deidara let his arms fall away from Sasori's body, and stared at the sky.

This couldn't be happening.

"But... I'm not _made_ to be able to deal with this kind of thing. I don't know what to do anymore," he fell silent, burying his face into Deidara's shoulder.

"Danna, let go, un,"

"No,"

"Just get out of here, un!" Deidara started to panic, almost shouting.

"I'm staying,"

"You're basically holding onto a load of timebombs, Danna, now get out of here, un,"

"No. I'm staying here," Sasori smiled, lacing Deidara's and his fingers together.

"Danna, please..." Sasori stared at Deidara angrily.

"No, I don't care, I'm staying with you,"

"Fleetingly, un?" Deidara asked, frowning.

"Eternally, brat," Sasori said and smiled at Deidara.

"You're not getting rid of me, wherever you go, now," frowning, Deidara let one of his fingers trail down the curve of his partners neck,

"But what about art, Danna?" Sasori shook his head,

"Eternity isn't the only thing that makes something art. Life won't be art if you're not here," for a moment Deidara just stared, until Sasori lent in and kissed him.

Deidara smiled into the kiss as the world lit up.


End file.
